Random Remarks.

King Country Chronicle, Volume II, Issue 88, 26 June 1908, Page 3

Random Remarks.

[Contributions to this column are always welcome from any part of the district. The editor does- not vouch for the authenticity of the stories, nor is he responsible for the criticisms.]

The Ohura. people are possessed with the commendable desire to provide medical attendance for the settlers of the fertile valley, and a doctor for the northern end of the district is threatened. What a shattering of illusions follows in the wake of progress. I have always regarded the happy valley as a place apart ; where people could only die of old age, and where a doctor would probably have to cultivate the germ as well as the theory, in order to create enough sickness to make his presence necessary. A vagrant thought suggests that the doctor is only a necessity because of the increased prosperity of the district. It is well known that the richer people become, the more necessary becomes the doctor. Possibly, high living, and the ennui engendered by an idle existence are responsible for the fact, therefore Ohura residents are counselled to beware of the insidious influence.

In a previous issue, the editor stated (he admitted on questionable authority) that the Hangatiki poet was engaged upon an ode to Jupiter Pluvius, imploring his co-operation in an endeavour to prevent floods during the coming winter. He also stated that if the ode should rouse the Rain God to anger, instead of invoking his aid, the Hangatikians would probably become webb-footed. The ode, which is given below, is to be presented to Jupiter Pluvius on the first favourable opportunity: — THE ODE. Hail! Jupiter Pluvius (Least dry of ancient Gods) Spring not in anger at a humble bard, Urged on by patriotic motives, To invoke thy glorious aid. Hail! Jupiter Pluvius, Thou who did'st preside . As grand avenger o'er the deluge great That drowned Noah (nay anger not), And from the world its wickedness did blot.

Hail! Thou most higli dispenser, Who dost not neglect, but In thy great magnanimity of deed, Dost oft. mistake (nay calm that flashing eye) A deluge for a wise supply.

Hail! Most generous given, Kind mercy show, lest we Forced to wade an inundated river Evolve webbed feet, like mole exotic, And commence a life aquatic.

Hail! Thou who couldst decree, That even grim Sahara's Waste of burning sand should fertile be, Send us thy gentle moistening showers, And let rest from floods be ours.

It is gratifying to learn that contributors are taking advantage of the opportunity offered in this column, and the ode will, doubtless, be read with the deepest interest. However, the editor would tender a word of advice to readers—not to- build too much on the effect of the ode on the Rain God. Oilskins and umbrellas should not be left at home in the mornings, as we poor mortals have no definite knowledge as to how odes are regarded by the gods. Moreover, the poet in thus disclosing his efforts has taken an extensive risk, as in case of floods in future, the Hangatikians will have a scapegoat, and we all know how prone is human nature to look for somebody to blame. All things considered, the editor feels moved to express his sympathy with the poet. This is a strictly impartial opinion, and entirely without prejudice. Some people may sympathise with Jupiter Pluvius.

It is pleasing to see that Te Kuitians have not lost their native modesty, and become blase and supercilious, despite their intimate acquaintance of late with persons and personages. The reception tendered to Mr Massey, on Wednesday, was as hearty and hospitable as if no other opportunity to associate with politicians had ever previously occurred. A really striking and commendable feature of the King Country residents is the whole-hearted manner in which they rise to welcome the stranger within their gates, and show him their most cherished possessions. Deny it who may, there is no doubt that the Awakino road is a source of pride to all of us. Admitted by the Premier to be the worst possible apology for a road, it occupies a position impregnable to criticism,--" Metal it and make it comfortable and convenient to travel over " forsooth ! Perish the thought. Our pet grievance would be gone, our unfailing claim to distinction above all others would be extinguished, and the fascinating pastime of mud-slinging would be wofully limited. It is to be devoutly hoped the Premier's hasty and illtimed utterance will be calmly reviewed and carefully considered before rash action robs us of such a monument of glory.

Considerable interest has been manifested in the fact that most of the available accommodation in Auckland has already been taken for the time of the American fleet's visit. King Country —especially Te Kuiti — residents will hail this announcement with joy. Those who feel moved to join in the welcome to the fleet will rind at least one familiar feature in the metropolis. They will put in much valuable time looking for accommodation, and for the balance of the visit will be fully employed in protecting their accommodation from the invasion of others less fortunate. There is something homely about meeting familiar conditions, and visitors from other parts who are unaccustomed to the comforts of the " shake-down,'•' or the welcome midnight fire of a newspaper office, will be at a disadvantage.