Random Remarks.

King Country Chronicle, Volume II, Issue 84, 29 May 1908, Page 3

Random Remarks.

[Contribution?. to this column are always from an}" part of tlio district. Ti.a editor does not vouch for {he authenticity of the stories, nor is he responsible i'or the criticisms.] The sporting instinct is commonly supposed to indicate a virile healthy mind, but from observations taken at various times I am led to conclude that there are more exceptions to the rule than are necessary to prove it. In summer the fish stories that are related are strong enough to be detected from anj r distance, and effluvium is not usually an indication of health. Similarly in winter the pheasantshooting yarns that are fashionable requite more than mastication to swallow them. In various places throughout the district the gorse and underscrub is very thick, and daily stories are told of beautiful cocks shot and lost in the scrub. The average of lost birds is becoming alarmingly high, and in the interests of health it is about time the authorities had the scrub cleared, and the dead pheasants buried, instead of leaving them to vitiate the atmosphere, and cause widespread disease. I always had " ma doots " about gorse being beneficial to land, and judged the advocates of the theory somewhat hardly. Now, I know they had good grounds for their belief, but take pleasure in pointing out that the benefit is doubtless derived from the dead pheasants.

Places, like people, have the detractors, especially when a certain degree of prosperity has been attained by either place or person. It is, therefore, not remarkable that Otorohanga and Te Kuiti should attract the attentions of the evil minded, and comparisons are sometimes made between the present social conditions of the towns in question, and the conditions which ruled in the good old unregenerate days. It is hard to believe that whisky was freely supplied in the townships years ago —some even assert it was sold. Such a statement would be immediately set down by the writer as a libel, but that even now he is confronted* with instances of recklessness in some of the oldest inhabitants. " Straw? indicate the way the wind blows," so one of the oldest inhabitants may be guilty of the actions attributed to him by a fellow townsmen the other evening.

A convivial evening with a friend or two led to a late departure for home in the suburbs, and the effect of the cold night air, after emerging from a heated room, is too well known to require explanation. The night was not dark, but the cold air on this occasion was particularly bad, and caused objects and distance and perspective generally to become hopelessly merged and confused. The adventurer, by reason of previous experience. knew th2t all his efforts would be required to safeguard him from the illusions due to the air, and fought sternly against a strong inclination to sit by the wayside,' and with eyes fixed on the east await the on-coming dawn. The inclination was mastered, and the way of the belated one uneventful until a creek was reached, when notwithstanding experience and resolve, the traveller took a risk too near the bank, and was hurled headlong to the icy depths. Disgust and obstinacy fought with prudence, and found utterance in speech : " Now, you've got me ! Alright, we'll see who is strongest. I won't move another step. You think it's a good joke, I suppose. Just wait awhile, and see how it pans out." The hero must have spent a considerable time in the creek, as when discovered he was taking gulps of water, and spouting like a whale, to show his contempt for the trick that was played him.

I have always regarded the Ohura as a land apart, a beautiful and sequestered valley untouched by the cloying influences of modern civilization ; a place wherein to live the simple life and dream the happy hours away ; a land of perennial gladness, where the loving kindness of the people was only equalled by the milk and honey supply. But alas for trusting nature; another fond illusion lies shattered ; another idol has exposed its feet of clay. Rumour hath it that among other applications to the paternal Government, the settlers have applied to have a Police Station established in the district. Above all things, to disclose to the world that a Police Station was, in the interests of the law-abiding settlers, a necessity ! To infer that certain individuals were in the custom of taking toll of their neighbour's melon patch ; that loving kindness was not so widespread as was believed by outsiders, or that even the hotel keepers did not close punctually on sale days ; to disclose these things will be held by the bulk of outsiders to be unpatriotic to a degree. To leap from the altruistic paths of idealism into the broad realm of blue-coated civilization in one bound, is an occurrence which will be regretted by all, and by none more than the oldest inhabitant.

The decision of the Farmers' Union to take a more active interest in politics, strikes the average outsider as an extremely funny proceeding. In the name of sweet reason what has the Union been doing in the past to justify its existence ? Take the order paper of the Conference, or the subjects dealt with at any meeting of any branch, and the resolutions are always to the end of " impressing upon the Government the necessity— What further hand in politics the Union could take, unless it took the reins irom isir Joseph and his colleagues, and instead of doing the impressing became the impressed, it would be hard to imagine. Apparently the Te Kuiti delegate regarded the issue as frivolous, and with the object of bringing the Conference to reason paraded the time - honoured resolution anent the importation of domestic help. But aid the resolution merely disguise the usual red herring? Being-aware of Mr Boddie's spirit of local patriotism, I am inclined to the opinion that the interests of the King Country appealed to

the mover. In Mr Boddie's district the number :.f rccrrbgcpblo male:; greatly exceed:-: the nnsi'.ber oi the opposite sex, and doubtless iho immiit'L'i'tion'jf d miestics i pariiculai'ly it {I: ?y were sued iookuv:) would supply a verioys want. "J. be necessity a heepiri'; the cradles full has been made the subject of exhortation by public men in many climes of late, and a desire to keep the King Country in the forefront of_ progress in this respect, is one of which any public spirited man may feel justly proud.

Empire Day was little noticed in the King Country, one of the chief deterrents to joy being. rain. Some day vvhen the socialistic ideal has become realised, holidays will only, be declared in fine weather. For instance, if Empire Day was wet, people could work on, await the first fine day, and celebrate the event. It is hard to be cheerful with depressing surroundings, and holiday making is impossible when one is conscious of risking a cold in "the head. Interesting discussions would doubtless arise as to the particular brand of fine weather necessary to a happy holiday, and public spirited people might exhibit heat on the subject. However, the extreme step of writing a letter to the Editor on the matter would probably not be necessary as in the happy time coming, when the socialistic ideal is realised there will be no room for differences, everything will be on dead level, and even the trams will not stop running because there probably won't be any trams to stop. Numerous other things may happen, but I always had an aversion to prophesy on the socialistic question. Besides, it is wise to keep one's own brand of Utopia for private consideration only.