Cleanings.

Kaikoura Star, Volume XIV, Issue 756, 17 July 1894, Page 7

Cleanings.

Counsel and Witness.

Sir James Scarlet, afterwards Lord Abinger, when at the Bar, had on one occasion to call a witness whoso evidence, he was told, might bo somewhat dangerous, unless the witness could be a little bothered and thrown off his guard. The gentleman in question, whose vulnerable point was said fo be selfesteem, was duly ushered into the box —a portly, over-dressed person, beaming with self-assurance. After looking him over for some time, Scarlet opened fire. ‘Mr Tomkins. I believe ?’ * Yes.’ ‘ You are a stockbroker, I believe, are you not ?’ ‘ I ham.’ Scarlet paused for a few seconds, and making an attentive survey of his victim, said, ‘ And a very fine and well-dressed ham you are, sir.’ The shout of laughter which followed completely disconcerted the witness, and Scarlet’s object was fully attained.

Proverbial Philosophy.

The early bird catches the ring worm. Awful examples cannot be cured by cheap precepts. Money won’t make the hair to grow on a bald head. All is not gold that glitters, unless it be ’all marked. A dog in the manger is worth'two in a state of hydrophobia. Where ignorance is bliss, wisdom is often as painful as a blister. It is a long lane without a turning in which one meets the mad bull. It is the man who works by the hour that forgets to bring his tools. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man sleepy and red in the eyes. Honesty is of but litttle use as a fire policy when your house is burnt down. W’bere there’s a will to be read a lot of artificial mourning may’ be observed. It is just as well to wink as to nod when you have a blind boil on your neck. .Necessity is the mother of invention, and the Patent Office is its cruel stepmother. A stich in the side saves nine people out of ten from the clutches of the local harriers.

Four years ago, when the Boulanger craze was at its height, the Prince of Wales was in Berlin, ami in a conversation after dinner, in which international politics were lightly touched upon, the Emperor was heard to remark something like this to his uncle : ‘ We might, aided by money, successfully resist an attack on both sides ; but that will never happen while the Czar reigns. It is his son, I fear, for he has French predilections, and they must be cured.’ ‘ And who will cure them ?’ asked the Prince. The reply, viewed in the light of today’s knowledge, gives one an idea of the young Kaiser’s solidarity and persistence : A sensible wife will cure him, and, if possible, should be one of my cousins.

Every reader has been told one time or another that eggs are ‘ meat and drink,’ Their value as a nutritive nourishing food is wellknown. Everybody, however, may not know that an egg beaten up lightly, with or without a little sugar, is a good remedy in cases of dysentery und diarrhoea ; it tends by its emollient qualities to lessen the inflammation. There are few things more soothing for cither a burn or a scald than the white of an egg. It is contact with the air which makes a burn so painful, and the egg acts as a varnish and excludes the air completely, end also inflammation.