Excerpta.

Kaikoura Star, Volume XIV, Issue 737, 11 May 1894, Page 7

Excerpta.

Hard to Beat.

A farmer came into a store and exhibited an enormous egg, which he vowed had been laid by one of his own hens. He had it packed in cotton, and wouldn’t allow anyone to handle it for fear of breaking it. The grocer examined it and said, ‘ Pshaw I I’ve got something that will beat that.’ ‘ 11l bet you a pound you haven’t,’ said the countryman. ‘ Right,’ replied the grocer, and going behind the counter, he brought an egg-beater. ‘ There is something that will beat it, I guess,’ said he, reaching over for the stakes.’ ‘ Hold on, there,' said the farmer, ‘ let’s see you beat it,' and he handed it to the grocer. The latter held out his band for it, but dropped it in surprise on the counter, where it broke two soup plates. It was of solid iron, painted white.

Many fine dinners are served in a course way.

‘ Do the Tudors live here ?’ ‘No; they live Tudors below here.’

According to Max O’Rell, the Englishman is a curious mixture of ‘ lion, mule, and octopus.’

The yearly loss of value in gold coins by wear and tear whilst in circulation has been found to amount to £4OO in every £1,000,000 sterling.

Violet, violin, violoncello, are all derived from viol, signifying sweet, applicable to either sound or smell; the latter syllables being merely to distinguish or harmonise.

Crime is more common in single life than in married, in the former 33 in every 100,000 are guilty, while only 11 married men of the same number have gravely broken the laws.

An apron is the Royal Standard of Persia. Gao, a Persian blacksmith, raised a revolt which was successful, and his leather apron, covered with jewels, is still borne in the van of Persian armies.

To reduce your weight do not eat potatoes or sugar, and eat dry toast in preference to bread. Do not drink milk, cocoa, beer, or porter. Take a moderate amount of exercise, and last thing at night and first thing in the morning sip slowly half a pint of water as nearly boiling as you can, with a squeeze of lemon in it.

Not long since, in the loft of an old building used as a stable at Belvoir, were brought to light some priceless manuscripts, having a most important bearing on the history of England. There were letters of Warwick, the * Kingmaker,’ to Clarence, epistles from King Edward and his contemporaries. After the lapse of centures many were still as fresh as when they left

the hands of the writers.

We British are illogical and unsystematic, our enemies say, and that, in a sense is true. But, in disregarding the little logic of narrow human minds, we have been the more faithful to the higher logic of fact. We have worked in the spirit of Nature herself, trusting not to the arts of the horticulturist, but to the spontaneous energy which throws up on every foot of ground the plant most suited in kind and bulk and shape to the soil and situation. And the result has been that our Empire has grown up like a primeval forest, without order or system or plan, but with all the strength and vigour of natural life.

A gluttonous man should always wear a plaid waistcoat, so as always to keep a check on his stomach.

The greatest smokers on earth are the Sioux Indians. Give them plenty of beef and tobacco and there will be no more wars between them and the United States. Their love of cigarettes amounts to a passion. They can smoke enough cigarettes to kill other young men, and then go on the warpath with a perfect physique.

LASSITUDE, HEADACHE, BACKACHE, AND INDIGESTION ARE SYMPTOMS OF A DISORDERED LIVER. CLEMENTS TONIC IS THE ONLY RELIABLE AND RADICAL CURE. HAVE NO OTHER. Mr J. J. Langridge, Tahaba, New Zealand, who writes on May 25th, 1893 :—I have much pleasure in saying that I have used Clements Tonic and do so now. I am a storekeeper and often feel that tired and done up sort of feeling peculiar to our trade, and I find by taking two or three doses of Clements Tonic occassionaliy that it puts me right again. I have often tried doctors, but not since I have used Clements Tonic, and I find it sella well, and people who once use it invariably purchase it again.—J. J. Langridge, Tahaha, New Zealand.