Excerpta.

Kaikoura Star, Volume XIV, Issue 680, 6 February 1894, Page 2

Excerpta.

§ An Interviewer Interviewed.

The proprietor of one of the principal New York dailies, being in London, wrote to request an interview with the late Mr W. H. Smith, then First Lord of the Treasury. Mr Smith minuted the letter, ‘ Express regret ’ when he changed his mind, and said to his secretary : —‘ No let him come ;he can give me the information I want about the municipal institutions of New York.’ (The Local Government Bill was under consideration in the House of Commons at the time.) An appointment was made, the interview took place, and for a quarter of an hour the great journalist was kept busy answering Mr Smith’s questions. Then the next appointment was announced, the visitor was bowed out, and it flashed on him that for once a Britisher had outwitted a Yankee. ‘ I guess,’ he remarked to the private secretary, as he picked up his hat, ‘ I guess that Mr Smith has interviewed me.’

A Narrow Escape.

‘ Were you ever shot in the war, Colonel ?’ asked the young woman of the warrior, after listening to some of his exceedingly blood-curdling reminiscences of the late unpleasantness. ‘Once only, A bullet struck me here,’ putting his hand directlv over his heart. . ‘ Dear me !’she cried. * Why didn’t it kill you ? That is where your heart is.’ ‘ True,’ returned the Colonel, ‘ it is where my heart is now, but at the time I was shot, fortunately enough, my heart was in my mouth.’

****** A Humorous Cardinal.

Cardinal Manning as he sat at his frugal meals faced the portrait of Bishop Brainstone. There was more than ordinary in common between the two men ; for both had been born Protestants, and bad been devoted husbands, before they wore the Roman purple. The Cardinal had a matrimonial story to tell of this predecessor of his. One day a male member of the flock approached Bishop Bramstone, saying he wanted a wife, adding the usual modest conditions she must be young, rich, and pretty. ‘ Oh, yon are mistaken,’ said the Bishop ; my name is Bramstono not Brimstone—l do not make matches.’—Wilfrid Meynell, in The Magazine of Art.

* * * V * Some Terms Expressive of Multitude.

A ‘ covey ’ of partridges. A ‘ Hight ’ of birds or arrows. A * brood ’ of chickens or grouse. A ‘ stand ’ of plovers. A ‘ muster ’ of peacocks. A ‘ bevy ’ of girls and quails. A ‘ litter ’ of puppies and pigs. A ‘ skulk ’ of foxes. A ‘ troop ’ of monkeys. A ‘ slough ’ of bears. A ‘ flock ’ of sheep aud geese. A ‘ herd ’ of deer and cattle. A ‘ drove ’ of oxen. A ‘ team ’ or ‘ stud ’ of horses. A ‘ mob ’ of roughs. A ‘ crew ’ of sailors. A ‘ fleet ’ of ships. A ‘ clump ’ of trees. A ‘ batch ’ of bread. A ‘ set ’ of china. A ‘ suite ’ of rooms. A ‘ suit ’ of attendants or clothes. A ‘ swarm ’ of bees, locusts, and ants. A ‘ pack' of wolves, bounds, or playing cards. A ‘ gang ’ of navvies, convicts, slaves, and thieves.

****** Influences of Music.

Sydney Smith said in his later years that were he to begin life again he would pay much attention to music, as

he had observed that musical people were generally a contented class. It is remarkable that so different a person as Prince Bismarck should, some 60 years afterwards, say pretty much the same thing. Addressing some lads recently he told them, that though he had been taught the piano, he had shirked the boredom of practising, to his subsequent deep regret, for ‘ music is a faithful friend.’ How many men have felt this, and have regretted that half the time alloted to Greek and Latin, which in afterlife is never looked at, was not given to a pursuit, which would have yielded pleasure and consolation ! The Prince treated his youthful audience to one other bit of advice, which was given some centuries ago by an even greater authority : ‘ Do not be perpetually worrying about the morrow.’

Pluck: A Capital Fable.

The hopelessness of anyone accomplishing anything without pluck is illustrated by an East Indian fable. A mouse that dwelt near the abode of a great magician was kept in such constant distress by its fear of a cat that the magican, taking pity on it, turned it into a cat itself. Immediately it began to suffer its fear of a dog, so the magician turned it into a dog. Then it began to suffer from its fear of a tiger, and the magician turned it into a tiger. Then it began to suffer from its fear of huntsmen, and the magician, in disgust said, ‘Be a mouse again; as you have only the heart of a mouse, it is impossible to help you by giving you the body of a nobler animal.’ And the poor creature again became a mouse. It is the same with a mousehearted man. He may be clothed with the powers, and placed in the position of brave men, but he will always act like a mouse: and public opinion is usually the great magician that finally says to such a person, * Go back to your obscurity again. You have only the heart of a mouse, and it is useless to try to make a lion of you.’

The Sparrow Plague.

An American paper describes a remedy for the sparrow plague. Briefly it is as follows:—Take plenty of wheat, soak it in sweetened whisky, spread it on the ground and wait. By and by the sparrows will settle down to work. The first stage will be ravenous delight, the second, acute grief that their crops are not larger, the third, intoxication. The drunkards are then gathered into bags, carried home, and converted into pie. Result: A good meal for the farm hands and future scarcity of sparrows.

The Difference.

A Frenchman, being afflicted with gout, was asked wbat difference there was between that and the rheumatism.

* One very great difference,’ replied monsieur. ‘ Suppose you take one vice, you put your finger in, you turn de screw till you bear him no longer—dat is de rheumatis j den s’pose you give him one turn more—dat is de gout.’

****** The girl who doesn’t think seldom lets her parents think for her.

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