BREVITIES.

Kaikoura Star, Volume I, Issue 67, 21 June 1881, Page 4

BREVITIES.

I A nice old lady of our acquaintance declares that she thinks it very strange Shat, a little quicksilver in a glass tube fcan make such awful hot weather by Bust rising in it an inch or so. I A Boston paper says that a hasty fond ding which had been set out to cool tone' morning in that city was taken to Kbe station-house by a policeman, on a Charge of smoking in the street; a practice which is not permitted in that tidy little city. Jones has discovered the respective natures of a difference. He says that “ a little difference ” frequently makes many enemies, while “ a little distinction ” attracts hosts of friends to the one on whom it is conferred. “ I tell you,” said a rabid freethinker, “ the idea that there is a God never comes into my head.” “ Ah, precisely like my dog. But there is this difference—he don’t go round howling about it.” This is what the Philadelphia Sunday Despatch calls political economy for young ladies—“ Buying a halfdollar straw hat, then putting eleven and a half dollar’s worth of trimming on it. A bashful young clergyman, recently rising to preach tor the first time, announced his text thus “ And immediately the cock wept and Peter went and crew bitterly.” Carving isn’t fun. A young man was invited to carve a turkey at dinner recently, and before the knife was finally taken from him he had upset a glass of water, wrenched his shoulder, shot the bird across the table into a lady’s lap, and nearly jabbed a man’s eye out; and it wasn’t a tough bird either.

A doctor, passing a marble-yard, called out “ Good-morning, Mr D —, Hard at work ? I see you finish your g-rave-stones as far as ‘ In the memory of,’ and then wait, I suppose, to see who wants a monument next ?” “ Why, yes,” replied the old man; “unless somebody’s ill and you are doctoring shim ; then I keep straight on.”

The New Butler.—“ And are you a member of the Church of England ?” “No, sir. The little I ever do in that JjSte is with the Hana-baptist.”