MISCELLANEOUS NEWS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IV, Issue 76, 3 October 1877, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS NEWS.

Among the reports laid' before Parlia** ment is one on oysters. This delicious shell -fish lias myriads of admirers, some of them porhap3 as enthusiastic in their admiration as the great and uever-to-be-forgoLten Dando, who, it is said, never managed during a long life to eat enough oysters to satiate his craving for them. True lie never paid for them, but that is beside the question. While admitting that the flaior of. the oyster is good,- it' must be confessed that 1 poetry and oysters are somewhat incongruous. The author of the report we refer to, Mr W. Pearson, waxed poetical on ttie'subject, as the following extract from his interesting report will prove. Speaking of tlio habit of the oyster he says :*— " Though most atoms will tell man something of their nature and habits, &c:, tlio oyster is a perfect mate. Onco only, in the earliest dawn of its existence, when leaving the parent shell, it launcl es in its tiny boat on thoocean of time, and for a brief moment dauces wildly on' the stream of lifts floating along; it realizes the joy of movempnt. That wild saturnalia passed' with safety, and a resting place obtained, it sottlpa down, possibly to moralise with calm impassibility on its six weeks' glimpse of the pomps and vanities of life, certainly to- fatten for man's use. Its fitful dream of life is over, it is silent evermore. Violence mny burst open the' iron Hps,.bufc they will not whisper thestory of its birth." The lion W. Fox, accrding to his ©ttiv account, has had some " rum "' expert' encos in Wellington. In the conrne of debate recently he said ':*- " Let me draw a picturo of one of those houses which I was the means of shutting up. After a long day's travel I arrived' with my wife and n companion at one of tho3o retreats for weary travellers. There wore two buildings— not very promising looking —and a little stable for the horses. We asked for a bed and something tn cat, and entered. All round (ho bar and in tho house there wero 30 or 40 roadmen, Mnoris, shepherds, roystering, drinking nnd shouting. And this was a hostelry for Uionccomnrod.it inn of travellers! Wells in due limo the dinner came, and absoln« tely everything on the table smelt of rum. The roast boof nmelt of rum. the potatoes smelt of mm, the water-bottle smelt of rum, and Ihe very, lea smelt of rum ; and tho woman who brought the things into the room smelt of rum, nnd was so drunk that sho could scarcely tako themout again. Whpn bfd-timfi cntrie we went to our room, the accomodalion bore was-*' certainly tho lens*; inviting. The sheats wero about the colour of the house, and* the blankets looked as if they had npr«H boon changed. Thp room was 12ft by Bft ;''. the window would not oppn, and thft door opened into a room where a lot of men wow drinking all rnVht. All that on© cvnild do was to lip down find make Mm • best of if. If I had had a dustpan nnd a , brush. T couH hnvo «wnpt nr> a, pirtnrm-, totxw full of fl«as. When I got tin in »h« . morning I pi\w u poorptngToring drunkard • com' 1 out of »h« house with black eve", iiml hi* focr eowrwl with blood. Atiho some lime the bird* wpro singing in the trpos and tlio snn rUing in the* sky. That was our pspcrionrp in this house for thenccomodntion of travellers." John Bnll, n Home paper, in an nblo nrticle on " chaffing." roes on to allude to " slang " used by Indies of tho present day. It ohsorvp.s :— " Monninglpss, foolish, nnd utterly object ionablo in th« mouths of men, how fur mora -painful is it to a refined tasto whpn liPird from thn lips nf women. Meminglcss wo sny advisably ; what can be more absolutely idiotic, than tho nsi\ or rather the abnse, of the word ' awful,', which is never out of the month* of the slang young persons of the dav ?' 1 Awfully nicp,' • Awrnlly nretty.* ' I liko it awfully.'.jfflpls n* nt pvory t'Kn, nnd, though Car from l^in-; on<» of thp mo^t obf'^U'iinM** «'or<l-4 in »i«f\ it is iitr* grsivating to hont a word i^o ro't^nntlv and so egrPT'ouslv mwnpplied. Then if' a young ladipq wislio^ to convov to von that nn overdo* of Princes followed bv ioo mnny hnlls bnq biwi really too much for her, she ronfi'les to you Uinfc ' she" isn't in good form,' nn<l w)i«'n n little rpsfc has restored her, sho avprs' she nev.er felt more fit.' Wo take tbpso expressions at random from thoso in daily use ; th ; e list might be increased to a nortantons length did not space forbid. Now, really, in the c.i<so of young Indies, we cannot help thinking that munh of tliehhma Hps withHieir parents. We presume that, having re.nnhod years of discretion, they can hnrdly approve of hiring their daughters imitate Ihff langu^go of grooms and costermongers."