PAY DEFERRED

Hauraki Plains Gazette, Volume 52, Issue 32307, 1 September 1943, Page 8

PAY DEFERRED

CAPTAIN FOR 1000 YEARS? £2OOO BACK PAY DUE A HUMOROUS STORY Cartwright was elated. His promotion had come through. From now on it was Captain Cartwright. ‘‘Good show, Cartwright.” boomed the colonel. “Good show, old man!” echoed the blokes in the mess. Under the circumstances there was nothing Cartwright could do but offer to throw a party. When the party was at its height, his friend Standish turned up, slightly the worse for wear. “I say, old man.” this worthy remarked. “why didn’t you tell me?” He held a copy of the London Gazette and when Cartwright managed to focus on the right column, he found an announcement to the effect that he had” been promoted captain as from April 1. 942.

“They you are!” said Standish. “You've been a captain all these years and said nothing about it to no one.” “Didn't know myself, old man.- Been a captain a thousand years and nobody tells me. Wonder how much back pay I'm due?” “Back pay? I hadn’t thought;! that! Back pay for a thousand years! Whoopee! You'd better write for it, old man. otherwise you’ll never get it.”

So there and then Captain Cartwright penned a letter tQ His Majesty's Under-Secretary of State for War. demanding back pay as from the year 942.

The following morning he woke with a bad head and a fervent hope that, he hadn’t really posted that ridiculous letter. A fortnight passed ... a month' . . . and then arrived an envelope marked “Confidential, On His Majesty’s Service.” Cartwright’s fingers trembled a little as he opened the letter. It read: “Your claim for back pay as since the year 942. in accordance with your promotion as promulgated in the London Gazette, has been investigated, and it is agreed that this back pay is, indeed*, due to you. The exact amount cannot be computed, owing to lack of information regarding the rates of pay during the earlier years of your service, but the War Office has agreed to the figure of £2OOO in settlement of your claim.”

“What a party we’ll have I” Standish chortled. “Hold on—there’s some more on the back.” He read :—

“During the investigation of your claim it has come to light that at the

time of the Norman invasion of England. in the year 1066, a large quantity of horses, chariots, bows, arrows, spears, shields and cither equipment was missing from the stores of the British Army. As you are the only living officer who held rank at the time, it is necessary that you be held responsible for this loss. The value of the missing equipment is estimated at £2003/16/4. If you will forward a cheque for the odd £3/16/4 the War Office is prepared to regard the matter as closed.” —H. M. Fisher, A.A. Bulletin.