THOSE GATES

Hauraki Plains Gazette, Volume 52, Issue 3247, 2 April 1943, Page 3

THOSE GATES

JUST HOW THEY ARE MADE ALL TYPES AND KINDS OBSTRUCTIONS ON THE FARM [Written for the Public Service Journal by Mr J. W. Brimblecombe, Inspector of Health, Eltham.] Only those who have lived in Taranaki would believe that the subject of gates provides matter enough to fill a volume. Most of us, at some time or another, have spoken lightly and heedlessly of Taranaki gates, without a thought for the work which lies behind conception, construction, complication and final imperfection.

“The Early Settler” Let us first consider the principal •branches of the huge gate family of Taranaki, and attempt to roughly classify them. Heading the list is a survival of the unfittest —the “Early iSettler” or collapsible folding model. This consists of five strands of barbed wire, attached to three blackthorn stakes with as many thorns as possible left on them. It is looped on to posts set on each side of a gap, and strained until the top wire gives forth a clear C sharp when, lightly tweaked. A further test for those who aim at

perfection is that it shall take two 14-stone men of average strength of unhitch it, and three to,replace it. The novice who is wound up in one at the moment of unhitching should wear warm clothing, lie perfectly still and wait until somebody comes to fetch the cows home. * By way of contrast we pass to the “It’ll Do” or light utility type. It is simply constructed, of three battens and a mopstick in the form of a.rough oblong bound at the corners with binder twine, old garters and a piece of blue-striped shirt. The whole is

coverel with rusty wire netting'. The top hinge is manufactured from an •old boot tongue secured with tin-tacks and the lowed one is omitted to allow the dog to squeeze through without undue strain. The fastener is hard to classify! as a certain amount of latitude is permitted. Probably the most satisfactory and common is a loop of wellrfrayed clothes line that can be easily broken and is of sufficient length to re-tie after passing through, ■ but a lenther belt, or the kitchen poker ; passed through two staples, is fav- ’■ oured by some. “Waste Not, Want Not”

Next we come to the “Waste Not, ; Want Not” bedstead variety. This, as the names indicates, consists of

the head portion of a Victorian iron bedstead, having not less than three brass knobs on the top rail and a series of smaller ones on the intermed"iate rail. The posts supporting it are placed sufficiently close together for the gate to overlap them in length and the gate is placed on the windward side and helped in position by air pressure. In coastal areas, subject to cross winds, a drain pipe, or an old rake, is used as a prop. “I Defy Thee”

For those who wish to make assurance doubly sure, there is the I Defy *Thee” or man-proof gate. This is not intended to be used lightly s or wantonly, and is simplified by leaving a wide gap on one side. The posts are made from pieces of the main mast of one one of the first three (or was it foul’ ?) ships, let into the ground as far as nature will permit. The gate itself follows the lines of a normal field gate, but the timbers are of sufficient girth to ensure a lifting weight of not less than a hundredweight at the opening end. The latch consists of a solid baulk, about thiee feet long, resting on one of the horizontal bais, and kept in place by the side pieces, between which it theoretically slides. In case there should ever be bora a cow of sufficient sagacity to think of sliding this baulk with her horns and moving to pastures new, another block of wood is nailed behind it. When in the closed position, the baulk is slid into a hole patiently, excavated in the mainmast. Further security is given by winding a sort of gigantic grandfather’s watch chain around the post and gate. . This is- designed to be always just too long or too short for the hooked ends to meet properly. To open this gate, a fine day should be chosen, and an early start made. Having found the connecting link in the chain, the ends are wrested apart and allowed to fall with a dull thud on to the toes or shin. Next, place the left, or undamaged, instep under the bottom bar, and,, exerting a superhuman amount of strength, raise the gate to loosen the latch which is bearing in the hole in the post. At the same time place a couple of hands on the latch and gice dt a 'lifting sling jerk, combined with a smart twist , and a slow steady pull, using another hand to steady oneself on the post and hold- ' ing the top of the gate with the right hand to prevent it heeling over on the loose hinges. If access is not obtained during the hours of daylight, then there is something the matter with' you, or the gate —or both. You should go home and telephone instead. Many Other Types ■Space does not permit a descfiption of the peculiarities of the sub-branches ■of the family, but one must briefly mention the “Show Gate,” which is

painted white and jammed between the posts while still wet. It therefore requires no fastening and no path. The “Slimming Gate,” which is padlocked at the top and is pushed up and crawled under is less well known. The “Practical Joker” gate, which has two bolts and a latch and hinges, all unconnected with the posts and which falls down when pushed, carrying the visitor with it, is very popular in damp, muddy situations. No article of this nature is complete without a-few statistics. Very well, then. It is estimated that the average opening time for all the above gates, multiplied by three*hundred and sixtyfive days, and converted to foot pounds at the New Zealand rate of exchange, would milk sufficient Jersey cows to produce three thousand pounds of butterfat.

Again. If all the Taranaki gates were stood end to end on Egmont, they would fall down and probably hurt someone considerably!