MARRIAGE CUSTOMS.

Hauraki Plains Gazette, Volume XXXVI, Issue 4841, 15 June 1925, Page 3

MARRIAGE CUSTOMS.

A MAN WITH, A MAID.

THE WAYS OF OLDEN TIMES. Modern marriage customs are merely modifications and survivals of much more serious proceedings. How many of us are aware that the "best man’ repiesents the bridegroom's assistant in the good old days when marriage was due to capture ? It was rude wooing when a man felled the lady of his choice and bore her to his cave, but it was the earliest method of securing a wife, and is still vividly symbolised in marriage ceremonies. When a Druse bride in the Lebanons enters her husband’s door he gives her a smart blow with a stick in token of his, authority. The blow is reminiscent of the club that knocked the primitive bride insensible.

What is known as the law of exogamy forbade a man to marry any woman of his own kindred, and the custom seems to have been almost universal. When people who depended upon capture in order to find wives came at a later stage to a system of contract, they still kept up the form of capture. As time went on and nieghbouring tribes became more friendly captures were made easy, and reciprocal captures were arranged. The practice easily shaded over into contracts for exchange or purchase, and the capture became an interesting part of the ceremony and a mere form. Young Lochinvar captured his bride under romantic circumstances, redolent of mild ancient custom, and in some countries to this day the bridegroom makes show of cunning and force in securing his life mate.

That much maligned penson the mother-in-law figures in the early history of marriage in a manner suggestive of the origin of the jokes and gibes hurled at her in all languages. We can understand how forcible capture would raise her indignation against the youth who stole her daughter. Among Algonquin Indians the girl and her mother go to the bridegroom’s lodge, but the mother stays outside, for it is not proper for her to speak to her son-in-law. There is no such feeling regarding the father-in-law.

The modern wedding present is a (symbol of the ancient marriage by purchase. Of course, the method of purchase prevails in some countries still, but as people grow more civilised the custom is camouflaged and in the course of time becomes scarcely recognisable. Question a Kaffil, diid you will find he expects to pay ten or twelve or more oxen for his wife, the price being determined by her rank or beauty.

Among an Indian tribe in California a bride is paid for in shell money. If the wooer has not enough coin of the realm he makes up the deficiency by personal iservice rendered to the prospective father-in-law. If the wife is stingy or bad tempered, her husband may send her back. If she has no children her father pays back the money to the husband, but if there are children only half the price is refunded. In Kakota an Indian in search of a wife would tie up a horse at the door of the lady of his choice. If it was left unnoticed he would tie up a second one, then a third, and so on, until on returning he saw they had all disappeared. The father-in-law. had as many horses ns he deemed a fair price for his daughter, and the suitor entered and claimed her. Among ourselves presents are a token of affection and congratulation and good wishes, but they originated in tlie practice of-purchasing a wife. In olden times the sale of wives was not unknown in England.

There is a story to the effect that in the early days of the American colonies the parson’s fee was fixed at a certain figure, and in rural districts was payable in kind. A young couple set off on horseback to be married, the bride riding on the pillion behind the bridegroom, and he holding a package of beeswax in front of him to pay the parson. On arrival the beeswax was weighed and valued, but was found to be considerably short of the required amount. What Was to be done ? The rustic was equal to the occasion. "Very well, parson,” he said, “you'll just have to marry us as far as the beeswax will go.” Scarcity of money on the occasion of a marriage has created a distinct type of celebration. In Scotland what is called a pay wedding, or a penny wedding, provides not merely refreshments and music for the evening, but also a nest egg for the young couple. The business was. gone about in a fashion likely to elicit a liberal collection. The bride had to go round the room and kiss every man in it. She was followed by the best man with a dish, into which the men so, favoured had to place their contributions.

Dowries seem the reversal of the ancient practice of paying for a wife. The man is made to appear as if he were being bribed into taking the girl as his wife. Behind it, however, lies the fundamental idea of making provision for the wife in case of her becoming a widow. Highland chiefs and border reivers were often hard put to it to provide dowries for tlueir daughters, but when necessity compelled they could generally contrive to raise sufficient funds by means of a raid upon .the property of someone else. A Highland' chief engaged in a contract of marriage to give his son-in-law the purchase of three (Michaelmas moons —a season of the year when the nights were long and the moonlignt good, and cattle cpuld be driven long distances.

The vagaries of fashion have once more introduced garters, but few of the fair sex who wear these ornaments are aware |bf the use to which they were put in former days in England and Scotland. Up to .1750 the bride’s favours nr colours were all sewed on her gown from top to bottom, and round the neck and sleeves. The moment the. ceremony was performed the whqde copipany made a

rush to secure one of these favours, and in an instant nbt one of them was to be seen on her. The lucky owners kept them as a memento. The next ceremony was an attempt on the part of the best man to secure her garter. Generally the bride dropped it, and the ribbon of which it was made was cut into small pieces sufficient to give one. to every person in the company. In Korea the custom is (or was) that bride and bridegroom mount a platform and repeat a certain form of words three times. Then she lifts her veil and is seen by the husband for the first time. A girl is "it” or "that” till she marries. After all, even marriage customs show that civilisation spells progress.