SPEECHES AT THAMES.

Hauraki Plains Gazette, Volume XXXII, Issue 4338, 4 November 1921, Page 2

SPEECHES AT THAMES.

SOME ORATORICAL “HITS.” BY DISTRICT PUBLIC MEN. Entertaining oratorical “hits” were made by several district reppesenta-' five men during the course pf a banquet at the Royal .Hotel, Thames* in honour of the late chairman of the Harbour Board. (Mr W. Scott)’, Mr C. W. Harris, of Waitakaruru, Hauraki Plains, as present chairman of the Board, being High Chief of the tangi. ELUDING THE BUTTERFLIES. Mr S. Laughlin, being the most ancient member of the Marine Korero Council, was deputed to hand over the trophy to the retired Chief, and he took the. chance of getting a. sly dig at Rangitira Scott fbr his incorrigible state of celibacy. He marvelled that .the-Lord of Neptune’s backwash had been able so long.to defy the wiles of the fluttering doves of Thames. Replying, the knight of single-bfessed-ness was very cruel for so kindly a man. He said he had not met any of the doves,. Shame pn you! Mr Scott.

“UNCLE BILL.” . Mr E. Miller,. Mayor of Thames, testifying to Mr Scott’s popularity, described how a mail package had been sent from abroad), merely addressed “Uncle Bill, New Zealand,” and had come by the most direct, route to Thames, and to Mr Scott. The latter had appeared as a creditor at more bankruptcy cases than any other man in the district, and had also wiped off more black debts. This was duel no.t to lack of business ability, but to sheer good-heartedness; WIT FROM WAIHI. Mr D. Donaldson (Mayor cf Waihi) indulged very wittily for about ten minutes in the provoking pactise hf “poking bor,ax.” It seemed to him from the speeches made by the gen-tlemen-of giant intellects who had preceded him that Thames had all the desirable things ; it was. “Paradise Regained.” The Harbour Board had all the creami, Thames County Council the bu!'ter-fat, and tne Thames Hospital Board the butter If -Thames become another Auckland it would not be t.he fault of* Thames residents. An old confrere of his at Waihi used to tell him-'that hi ch and thing was done a. Thames forty years ago* and was. therefore, good enough for Waihi to-dar. The speaker .was only a cub among the big lions of Thames, but;he hoped that; by the itime he had been among them aslong as -Mr Scott had; he woujld be somewhere.near their level (Laughter—Ha !Ha ! lie ! :He ! Haw * Haw!). Mr Donaldson skipped bn to push, in some caustic rapier thrusts on :f he arf of self-advertisement. After 27 years’;) service, z :his colleagues decided to .Mr Scott with a shield of the:photographs cf the members of the last board—themselves. It was one of the most beautiful and inspiring 'things’ they could present him with. (Mare Ha ! Ha! He ! He ! and likewise Haw JjEJjtw !)

BOMB AMONG THE BOOSTERS. Throughout the function there had been a good deal of “boosting,” headed by_the. veteran Mr W. McCullough, who had just received excel’ent lessons on that gentle art a* the Yankee possession, Honolulu, from whither he had just returned of ter afi ending the Press Conference. He and Mr J . W. Danby boasted Thames with great gusto. Mr H. Jackson, an. old Thames boy,, and ex-Mayor of Tc. Aroha, also beat ithe big drum most vigorously on behalf of Te Aroha, stating that the burg of mineral waters fame was the Jiub of the. Thames Valley. There was. a: commotion in the camp: when a

representative of this boosting buster said h? commisserated with Thames and Te Aroha in that these places werenot, Hike Paeroa, f the natural road,'railway, and Myers centre for the Thames Valley and the Hauraki Plains. By way of ‘‘rubbing it in,’’ he. furthei’ said that Paeroa wanted the Harbour Scheme to be successful, as the ./residents of that prosperous and progressive future city of the Plains 1 and the Valley counted on Thames being the port and marine suburb of Paeroa. Bujt there was balm in Gi'lead,. for he emphasised the fact that there .was a great future for every centre in the Thames Vallley and Hauraki Plains, in which combined district one dairy company alone had produced products last year to the vailue of £1,140,000. Each town had such excefient prospects of progress that there was no room for jeallousy should one town gain an advantage here and there. . What was wanted was a Thames Valjley and Hauraki Plains Progress League. Thames, Paeroa, Te Aroha, and Morrinsville were in the position of so rnany small nations who were in danger of being overshadowed and ultimaitely absorbed by a big nation— Waikato, with Hamilton as the capital city. It therefore behoved, all these “small nations” to combine and form a League on the .lines of the Canterbury Progress League, for mutual protection and advancement 'of common interests. (’Ear, ’ear!) ’