Correspondence.

Huntly Press and District Gazette, Volume 4, 30 April 1915, Page 3

Correspondence.

WHILE it is our endeavour to give correspondents every facility for tlie tree expression of their opinion, it should be borne in mind that the views expressed do not, necessarily, reflect the opinions of the Editor. TO THE EDITOR. Dear Mr. Hediter —Hearin that forchuns was waitin ter be lifted here, me and Lizer lef ther ole dart abaht free monfs back an finkin this garden city of 'Untly a good spec, ws fort wid chuck in ahr lot wiv ther ’Untly fokes. so I ’opes yer wont git narsty at me an my donah havin a chip in this ’ere couterversy abaht cnddlin an smoodgin’ tarts in leefy harbours hetceterer, for as Lizer says to yer ’umble, Bill these yere copies ’ere don’ know how ter ’ook on ter each uvver. Nall Mr Hediter that yere ole stick in ther mud. Koro wants a ’elpin ’and in his corner, not arf he dont afore he gits counted aht. an that uvver bloke wiv an orty grarf like a bunch of stale shamrock, aint arf an’ero he aint, an yer ’umbles wiv ’im every time an sometimes twice an look ere ole hoss, jus trot aht yer Twiddleums yer Twiddleees, an Romeo, them coves thats been slingin’ their weight abaht in yer dingy little piper a pullen ole Koros leg an me an my pal Lizer ’ll give em a sampel ov twin sole study that ’ll make em fink they’ve been strukwiv a bloomin hairyplane in histerics, in ther part ov ther anhatomy where ther hegg-pro-doocer got ther hax. Me an Lizers studied each uvvers turn sole in ther wash-’ouse at ther back ov a fried-fish hemporium in Befnal green road where Lizer used ter flop the flahnder in ther batter until she got permoted ter fryer in chief ter the hexalted haristocratic clars who ’ung aht ther shingles in that saloobrious quarter. Lizer wus a reg-’lar korf drop at dishin’ aht haportlis ov fried fish and taters wiv a pinch ov sorlt an’ a dash aht ov er bottel wiv a winegar flavor abaht it, an’ she’d wrap em up in a hextra speshul heditshun ov thur Hevenin’ Hexpress, in ther twinklin’ ov a winker, wiv ther glad eye from Liza chucked in as discahnt an’ when 'er pore ole crphin sister slipped ’er blinkin’ moorrins wiv cancer on her muvvers side. I ’ooks on ter her an asked er if she’d cum ter Noo-Zealand when I.d pinched ther jonny hob-goblins necessary for a berf on ther blinkin winkel barge and she said wot O not arf I wont aint I, so yer see I brort er along ter this tarn flowin wiv milk and water, I mean’oney and if ennybody wants hadvice in tlioir hefforts to snaffel a little rarsberry fer beter or wusser, well, lor lummy they can ave ther benerfit ov ahr experience gratis fer ther harskin fer yer can take yer affy-davy on it, mo an Lizer ave felt ther want ov them yere shady nooks hetceterer, which pave ther way for times ter cum like When a bloke sales ome loaded darn ter plimsole mark wiv a full cargo ov ’op juice. Me and Lizer done ahr maulin abaht in er hatmosfere ov fried fish an when we fink ov that Koro bloke’s skeme wiv roses, trianty wonty goms tnd. ttaingomebobs creepin ralin leefy bowers it fairly makes ahr moufs warter so yer can bet yer Sunday rahn-me-houses we’re wiv yer lievery time if yer shuv that skeme along and if them uvver blokes chip in agin wiv theii sorce-jus trot em rahnd to ahr bugwalk an yer ’umble’ll put it acrorst em like I did ter Lizer when she wood’nt say yus, when the parson cove in ther little white nighty liarsked either faithful questiun. Min yer, f don’t perfess ter be er conuysoir in these fings, but I fink if wo could ave this ere t;ddyvation skeme and start wiv sum sturshums all i blowin and er growin rahnd that brick fing in in iher mine yard which brings back ter my mind sum burly rekerlexions ov Dartmoor, an ’av sum fancy parts an farntins rahnd them slak ’eaps wiv a few marbel statchers ov kupid an morpheus chucked in. Wot abaht them yere seclooded spots for sickly swains wiv spoony spasorms lion ther banks ov hullen worter, and if yer can push ther old she-bang along (en blox) then Mr Hediter, Lizer an ther ole pot an pan (thats yer umble) will stik ter yer like grim def ter a diseesed nigger. Thankin yer hetceterer, yours trooly, BILL & LIZER.