PARTING THRUSTS

Hokitika Guardian, 2 August 1932, Page 2

PARTING THRUSTS

• RETORTS AND THRUSTS, STORIES OF CELEBRITIES. ‘•Go to the cl'e—l!” said Lord Tluirlow when storming at his old valet. “Pray give me a character, my lord,” replied the fellow drily. “People Hike, you know, to have characters- from their acquaintance,” Dr. Mead, the celebrated physician, was assailed in a pamphlet by Dr. Woodward. The doctors met, and a fight with swords ensued. Mead disarmed his adversary and ordered him to beg for his life. “Never!” sajs Woodward, “never, till I am your patient!” Lord North, who had a perfect antipathy to music, asked why he did root ‘subscribe to the Ancient Concerts, was told that his brother, the Bishop of Winchester, did. “Ay,” replied his 'ordship, “if I was as deaf as my brother I would subscribe, too.” Having to review some bulky memoirs of Lord Burleigh and his times, Lord Macaulay began his notice with the delicately satirical statement that th© book consisted of two thousand clcee-ly-printod quarto pa-ges, that it occupied fu.taeu hundred inches cuibic

measure, and that it weighed /sixty pounds avoirdupois. When Sir Walter Scott was extending his garden at Abbotsford, an old servant was becoming exasperated by digging some very stony ground. Sir Walter saw that the old man’s feelings were rather, ruffled, and said to him, “That’s grand soil you’re working on.” “Soil!” replied the gardener sarcastically, “A think its the riddlings o’ creation. Charles Fox and ht? friend, Mr Hare, both much incommoded by duns, wlere together in a house when, seeing shabby men about the -door, they were afraid they were bailiffs in search of out© of them. Not knowing which was in danger, Fox opened the window and, calling to them, said, “Pray, gentlemen are you fox-huntjn<r or liare-hunt-ing r

The poet Piro-.a was about to enter the drawing-room of a man of rank at .the moment his host was ushering in a titled friend. The flatter.politely drew back to permit Piron to, pass. “Com© on, your grace,” said the \ mastep of the house “he is dniiy a Vpoot.” Pii-on immediately exclaimed, “Now that our respective qualities are known I claim the privilege, of my rank,” and he entered before them.

On a wet, miserable, foo-gy‘London, day in autumn Charles Imnb;’was accosted by a : beggar-woman with, “Pray, sir, b:stow a-little woman, who is perishing for lack of food., Be-. lieve me, sir, -I have seen better days.” { “So have I,” said Lamb, handing tho -jj poor creatvtre a shilling—“so have I; it’s a miserable day. Goodbye good-* bye V”