QUIPS AND CRANKS
Barber; Hair cut, sir? Depressed 'Customer: No, throat, please. Goodman; Resist the temptation. Weakley: I would, but it may neve}' come again. Mother Our son at college is getting to be quite a live wire. Dad: Yes, he charges everything.
"Were you one of the. many .fooling with the stock market ?” “Not me. I was serious. The market did the fooling.”
She : If only I had taken mother’s advice and not married you. He: I didn’t know your mother had ever been so friendly disposed to me.
New Ala id ; Please, sir, a man came and stole your ear. I could not see what the man is like, but I took the number of the car.
Judge: Just think, gentlemen of the : ury, the accused carried out this robbery with violence for half a crown. Accus'd : Well, .sir, hall a crown heie and there mounts up.
1 “Just come and see us occasionally, old man.” "T have very little time.’ “Bo come.—all my daughters are engaged now.”
Farmer ; T never saw such a season. •My corn isn’t an inch high. Neighbour : Your corn ■ Why, say--Ihe sparrows have to kneel down to eat mine!
Actress: 1 have been carrying letters •-.n to the stage for years—cannot I have a more important part ? Manager: Yes, henceforth you shall onlv carry registered hitters.
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Hokitika Guardian, 11 July 1931, Page 8
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223QUIPS AND CRANKS Hokitika Guardian, 11 July 1931, Page 8
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