BY THE WAY

Hokitika Guardian, 9 May 1931, Page 6

BY THE WAY

Tom: 1 haven’t the remotest idea wliat I want to-day. Tim: Try a little hash, and you’ll never know what you’re getting.

"Bridget, were you entertaining a man iii the kitchen last evening;-'” “ ill, mum, that’s fr him t’ say. ()i don.;; me best wid tip m’tvrials at hand, mum.”

Father': What do you mean, my son? Your teacher a nuisance? What talk !

Archibald: Well, that’s what you call me when 1 ask questions, an’ teacher does nothin’ else.

B. Walker tells of the Scot’s wife whose doctor told her she had to have salt air ... She woke up next morning and her husband was fanning her with a herring.

Mrs De Smythc: We had !l lovely lime last right. We had a box at the theatre. Mrs J>© Browne; Yes? Chocolates, weren’t they We saw you in the gallery eating something.

Malipl. to Bose, at the office; you ‘know it v.*as Ethel’s birthday vesterdav ?

“No, dear, I didn’t. Did she take the day off?” “Take the day off, indeed. Good gracious, she took two years oft!”

Mistress: Isn’t that the postman, Mary ? Who’s gone to the door? Mary: Please, ma’am, cook lias. Mistress: Well, what’s she such a lung time for? Mary; Plea st >, ma’am. I think it must be a postcard.