DEPORTED

Hokitika Guardian, 18 April 1931, Page 6

DEPORTED

AUCKLANDER IN NEW YORK. RETURN PASSAGE PAID. A young Aucklander has just arrived back from New York in a wellknown steamer. He U'lls bow lie "bopped it” from a vessel in New 1 °rk—otherwise deserted bis ship.

lie bud a considerable number of dollars, and treated himself to the sights of the city that is guarded by (lie Statin, of Liberty. When lie struck it tbe industrial position was appalling. Th,< city’s unemployed registered well over a million. Yet. many of flic picture pak'S's and theatres bad queues. Externally fliere was no sign of depression. Motoi cars were everywhere, running day and night, and in the main avenues tour streams of vehicles were moving continuously. .Money was being lavishly spent, and the people although they realised they were in a slump, were laughing and optimistic. ADVENTURE WITH A “CGI’.”

The Aucklander soon came to the ('lid of his capital and found himself sleeping out in the dark zone—his sob' wealth 25 cents. He was accosted by (In' inevitable policeman, and might have been “passed” but bis accent gave him away.

“I guess, guv,” said the policeman, “you’d better conic right along, and explain things to the boss.” 'I he “boss” put him through the first degree, and told him he’d have to send him off to his own country, New Zealand. This meant a trip across thu States. So till* policeman—a rawboned six-loot seven Irishman—took him in charge. He explained to the* Aucklander that lie would travel lirstchtss all the way by train.

He asked the policeman who was to pay. and he ejaculated: “Great Scot! You Britishers are always asking questions. | guess von aren’t spilling tlm beans. I guess Non Zealand has got a Government. It ain’t you’re funeral. Here’s 10 ‘bucks (dollars).

RETURN JOURNEY BY PULLMAN. To the “Non Zealander” this was a godsend. So lie pocketed the money and soon found himself in a Pullman car, accompanied by another policeman. His guard lor (lie first dav kept in close attendance and when bis prisoner remonstrated that there was no danger of his attempting escape, (he officer said- "Wall I guess you’d be a darn fool to try.”

And from then on the deportee was allowed to do as he wished. 'I he passengers in the carriage were all wealthy Westerners, returning to their homes. They were much interested when t ! >- Aucklander explained matters. A subscription was taben up. and the young New Zealander was handed 29 more

"bucks.” his guard contributing h > quota. “WE DELIVER THE GOODS.”

At 'Frisco bis guard suggested

"Wa|. L gii(Ss. ; you better. splash, those bucks in ‘glad rags.' If you land on that ‘smoker’ just as you ar<‘. they’ll put you into tbe to’c’sle lor sure!

Tbe young fellow took the advice, and the superior knowledge of t.he New Yorker assisted him to buy a new and cheap outfit. He was escorted aboard tbe steamer, bis guard farewollng him with: "I guess, Air Non Zeeland,’ you can tell your people that we always deliver Hie goods. But, ! say. guy. don’t i i'v again t,o git into (bis country b*. the back dour.”

“The last. I saw of him.” said the Aucklander, “he was descending the pingwav. waving his hand and >mok- : 11 g a huge cigar.” I lie Aucklaiulei savs lie is going to try the States again, bill next time be will take tie* Yankee’s advice, and try to get in by the front door.