HAPPY MOMENTS

Hokitika Guardian, 9 March 1931, Page 7

HAPPY MOMENTS

Sceptic’s Argument. Little Mae, four years old, when told that a noise from the cellar was a bur£j;lar, replied: Oh, hut 1 don’t believe iu burglars.—“Parents’ Magazine.” Why Not Ear Muffs? “Mummy, you bought sister a piano, so buy me a bicycle.” “What lor?” “So that J can go riding while she practise#.” Accessibility Plus. Mr Spinks; Put why did you buy a dachshund for the children? Mr Linkes: So that they can all pet him at once. Moving Hiatus. T was warning my little neighbour about being careful crossing streets. “Ob, don’t worry,” the. child assured me. “I always wait for the empty | space to come by.” Earning Their Keep. “How are you getting on keeping bees ?” “Very well. We have not bad much honey, but the bees have stung my mother-in-law several times.” Duel of Generosity, Merchant: Look here, you've been owing me this bill for a year, i'll meet you half-way. I’m ready to forget half what you owe. Debtor: Fine! I’ll meet von. I’ll forget the other half. He Knows Better. “We have been married a year and never quarrel. Tf a difference of opinion arises and 1 am right, Felix always j gives in immediately.” “And if lie is right ?” “That never occurs.” Words, Words, Words. The teacher was putting questions to the class. “What do we call a man.” h<> asked, “who keeps on talking and talking when people are no longer interested ?” “Please, sir,” replied a boy, “a teacher.” When ’Tis Folly to be Wise. Possible Employer; Put you’re asking for a rather high wage, seeing that you know nothing about the work. Applicant; Put. you see, not knowin’ the work makes it so much harder for me. Enough for Cats and Dogs. Weather Man : Put down rain for a certainty this afternoon. Assistant; Are you positive, sir? Weather Man : Yes, indeed, I’ve lost my umbrella. I’m planning to play golf, and my wife’s giving a lawn party. Tireless Executive. An old Scottish woman, who bad never been known to say an ill word about anybody, was one day taken to task" by her husband. “.Tn.net.” be said impatiently. “I do believe ye’d say a guid word for the de’il himself.” “Ah, wool,” was the reply, “ho may na be sae guid as he micht, be, but lie’s a. very industrious body.” Mum’s the Wcrd. “Mv boy.” said the business man to bis son. “there are two tilings that ai—vitally necessary if von are to succeed in business.” “What are they, dad?” “Honesty and sagacity.” “What, is honesty?” “Always—no matter what happens, nor bow adversely it may affect youalways keep your word once you have given it.” “And sagacity ” “Never give it.”