WIT AND HUMOUR

Hokitika Guardian, 24 November 1930, Page 2

WIT AND HUMOUR

HELP WANTED. I Village Postmistress: J ought to hive some assistance ’ere durn’ the summei months. Sometimes I don’t get through readin’ the postcards before ten o’clock at night. ** * * PARTICULAR. Salesman: And what kind of motor car horn would like, sir? Do you eaie for a good, loud blast/ Haughty Customer: No; I wan! something that just sneers'. LIFE GETS LIKE THAT. Jinks: Have you got your automobile paid for? I Rinks: Practically. Three more pay- ! ments and it will belong to the fellow j that bought it from the chap I sold it to! 4. * * * REWARD OF RETICENCE. •“But surely,” cried Jealn, “you didn’t tell him straight out that you loved him ?” I “Goodness;, no,” Mildred said calmly. He had to squeeze it out of me.” #» * * HERO OR SCAPEGOAT. “Polities is very uncertain, ’ “Very,” agreed Senator Sorghum. “Even after a man succeeds in being elected, he doesn’t know whether he's going to take credit for what happen* or whether he’s going to get the blame,”. #* * * SUITED. “|’ve come from the employment bureau, ma’am, said the girl. “They said you wanted a servant.” “But I do all the work myself,” replied the lady of the house. “Then the place will just suit me.” ** * * QUESTIONS. The teacher was putting questions to the class. . “Wlmt do we call a.man,” he asked “who keeps on talking and talking when people are no longer interested?” “Please, sir,” replied a boy, “a teacher.” ** * * CARELESS. Ringle: Wher.i you found that you ; had not got your fare, did the eonj doctor of the street car make you ; get off and walk? j Mowls: Only get off; h§ didn’t seem to care whether T walked or sat down! ** * * CHAMPION BREADWINNER. Modest Suitor: I have only 5000 dollars a year, sir, but I think I can support your daughter on that. Father (enthusiastically): Support her, my dear boy? Why, you can support her entire family on it.