BETWEEN WHILES

Hokitika Guardian, 3 November 1930, Page 7

BETWEEN WHILES

Jfaster: What do you wear that monocle for ? Dude: My eye is weak. Jester: Then why don’t you wear a glass hat ? Mr Meek: Another new costume? Where am 1 to raise the money to pay for it? Mrs Meek (calmly): Don’t ask me. I’m your wife, not vo.ur financial adviser ! City Youth: And do you mean to say you have never been up to London to see the sights? Rustic: No, down here we just waits for the sights to come and see us.

Rig Game Hunter: I used to do a lot of tiger shooting in Africa. Acquaintance: Tommy rot! Thejre are no tigers in Africa. Big Game Hunter: Not now, I admit. You see, I shot them all!

A burly Irishman, suffering from many wounds, was brought into the hospital. “What are you?” asked the doctor. “Sure, I’m half Irish.” “And what’s the other half?’ “Holes and bandages.”

“Dr. Fillers seems to he a very fashionable physician.” “I should say so! He has patients at some of the most expensive health resorts and a waiting list of people whose health will give way as soon as they get money to consult him.”

She did not understand the thermometer, but she took her husband’s temperature with it, and sent a frantic message to the doctor. “Dear Doctor, please come at once. My husband’s temperature is 136.” To which the reply was, “I can do nothing. Send for the fire brigade.