BETWEEN WHILES

Hokitika Guardian, 28 October 1930, Page 3

BETWEEN WHILES

POOR MISTRESS! Mistress: It seems to me, Bridget, that it is the worst mistresses that get the best cooks. Bridget: Oh, go on wid yer blarney ijow, ma’am. IT MIGHT. “Ho you think, professor,” said the musically amomoiis youtii, "that J. can tiu any tiling with my voice?” “\\ ell,” was the cautious reply, “it may come in handy to shout with in case ot lire.”

ARBITER OF STYLE. Wife (trying on hats): Ho you like tins tunicu uuivn, clear. Husband: How much is it? Wi.e: i!2 IDs. Husband (eagerly): Yes, turn if down. HIS RESOLVE. John, aged six, was told he had to go to Uie nospitai to have Ins totisns removed, amt ins mother was bolstering up ins moral. ".rn he brave and do just what they tell me, mother,” he promised, “but l bet they don't palm a crying baby on me, like tney diu on you Wiien ymi »ei ein the hospital I” SAFETY FIRST. , Foreign Lady (at poulterer’s) : And vill the bird be tendare? Vendor: J can assure you it will, madam. Foreign Lady: Ah, veil! I vill tell you vhart I vill do! You shall send it to me. I vill have it cooked, and ve vill eat it. Then if it is tendare I vill pay you for it!

BREAKING IT GENTLY. . m ‘ The young man and the girl were saying good-night on the doorstep when a window above them was suddenly pushed open, and a weary voice said : “My dear sir, I have no objection to your coming here and sitting up half the night with my daughter, nor even to your standing on the doorstep for a couple of hours saying goodnight, but out of consideration for the rest of the household who wish to go to sleep, will you kindly take your elbow off the push-bell HIS HOPE. Mr Bashein is a very hard and strict fellow. On many occasions he has thrashed his son unmercifully for the least provocation. Jim has lately taken up swimming, and is making very good headway, The other day, Jim approached his father. “Had,” he said, “I have a great ambition to swim the Channel.” “Oh, have you?” snapped his dad, “well, remember, my lad, there are no medals for doing that.” “1 know that, dad,” meekly replied Jim, “hut 1 might get across.”.