FUN AND FANCY

Hokitika Guardian, 4 October 1930, Page 6

FUN AND FANCY

AN EASY ONE. Teacher: Tommy, where was the Declaration of Independence signed? Tommy: At the bottom, 1 guess. IUJDE WELCOME. Small Child (who has repeatedly been knocked over by the sea): I don’t fink thesttsilly waves want ine in their sea, Mummy. NO SLEUTHING NEEDEEj, “How did you find the- weather while you were away?” “Just went outside, and there it was.” PUT CREPE ON THE DOOR. Solicitor: Is your boss in? Office Boy: Yes. Solicitor: May I see him? Office Boy : No, lie’s in tor sixty days. COMPLICATED AF FAIR. Mother: Mary, come upstairs immediately. Mary: But I’m all wrapped up in my problem. Mother: Tell him to go home. BLESSED EVENT. A friend came to call on a well-known poet. The poet’s wife met him at die door with her finger to her lips. “Hush!” she said. “Don’t make any noise. He’s up stairs having a poem.” STEPPING ON IT. “Well,” said the visitor to the little son of the famous motorist, “and how are you getting on at school ?” “Fine,” said the little chap. “I’m now learning words of five cylinders. PREHISTORIC CRIME. Visitor (looking over fraternity house): Don’t you know roller towels are against the law? Brother: Oh, yes, but that one was put up there before the law was passed.

BACK TO REST. First Executive: Did you enjoy your vacation ? Second: Yeh, but there’s nothing like the feel of a good desk under your feet again. PUTTING UP A LIGHTNING ROD. 1 ‘Do you always look under your .bed before you say your prayers?” asked the flapper niece.” “No darling,” said the ofcl maid, “first I say my prayers.” BUDDING HISTORIAN. Teacher: Johnny, what’s the difference between a battle and a massace ? Johnny: A battle is where a whole lot of whites kill a few Indians, and a massacre is where a whole lot df Indians kill a few whites. IMPROVEMENTS ON MOSES, Minister: Come, come my friend, try to lead a better life. Why, you are continually breaking one of the Commandments. His. Friend: Nope parson. I don’t have any trouble with a .single one of the Commandments. It’s the amendments that .1 simply can’t keep.