SPARKLETS

Hokitika Guardian, 25 September 1930, Page 3

SPARKLETS

LOYAL DEVOTEE. “Does vour wife attend church regularly ?” “Very. Site hasn’t missed an Easter Sunday since we were married.” “HATS OEF!” Customer: Have you anything for grey hair? Conscientious Druggist. Nothing but the greatest respect, sir.” CUTS BOTH WAYS. Mrs Nagge: Statistics prove that marriage is a preventive of suicide. Mr Nagge: Yes, and Statistics prove that suicide is a preventive of marriage. ALL DEPENDS. “You’ve ■ been • convicted fourteen times of this offence—aren’t you ashamed to own to that ?” “No, your Worshin. I don’t think one ought to be ashamed of h'ifi convictions.’’ NEED MORE ELBOW ROOM. Speaking of the good old days, do you remember the old-fashioned girl who used -to make ash receivers out of cigar bands? Well, she now has a daughter who makes one out of the parlour rug. NO PERJURER. “You seem to have plenty of intelligence for a man in your nosition,” sneered a barrister, cross-exam-ining' a witness. “If I wasn’t on oath I’d return.'the compliment,” replied the witness. SOUND THE CALLIOPE. In London recently a man was knocked down by a perambulator and injured. A newspaper suggests that if no horn is provided, nursemaids should give the baby a sharp pinch, at crossings. GOT HER CHANCE. The conceited young man had talked about himself till the girl felt she could not endure it any longer. “It costs a great deal more than one would think to become a broadminded and intelligent man of the world,” he remarked serenely. The girl saw her chance and took it. “T suppose so,” she said, “and I don’t blame you for saving your money!” AN EAR FOR SCANDAL. A young lady visiting her aunt in the country cam© in late one afternoon. “Whore in the world have you been ?” asked the aunt. “In the hammock all the afternoon,” she replied, “with by beloved Robert Browning.” The aunt eyed her sternly. Then she said: “If I hear of any more scandalous proceedings I shall certainly write to your mother.”