A NAVAL VISITATION

Hokitika Guardian, 20 September 1930, Page 8

A NAVAL VISITATION

(By LIEUTENANT-COMMANDER DOUGLAS FAIRBAIRN in “The Navy,”)

Aunt Matilda let me in. for it bj asking me to show her daughter ovei my ship. All I knew about Joan was that she was eighteen (old enough tc know better), and that, in Aunt Matilda’s words, “she is very keen on ships, and reads everything nautical she can lay hands on.” The first, thing she laid hands on in the exuberance of getting on board was me. .She nearly kissed me on the quarter-deck. She also shook hands with the quarter-master and corporal-of-tne-watch, “because,” she said, “they touched their hats to me so nicely.” She then noticed the picketboat leaving the gangway, and promptly blew-a kiss to the snotty in charge. “Who’s the snorter driving the jolly-boat?” she asked me. I enlightened her, and was informed that he was a darling.

■ “Now Jet’s go aft to the foretop and see the. binnacle—or is it a barnacle?” she exclaimed.

Hastily translating this astounding remark, I explained that we were already “aft”; that this was in fact, the “blunt end” of the ship. I also added that, as the Captain’s quarters were underneath; she musn’t make a noice. She was not a hit abashed by this, and suddenly asked, “Where’s the Captain’s companion?” I was about to explain that in a man-of-war it was called the “after hhtchway,” when she added in a lo.ud whisper, “What’s she like?” I quickly led, her off the quarter-deck On our way for’ard we stopped to look at the boats. “That is a whaler,” I told her pointing out a small boat at its davits.

“Oh, I know; you use it for catching whales. I read all about it once. The sailors are all dressed in northeasters and tarpulin jackets, and chase the whale with lampoons or typhoons or something.’’ “Harpoons,” I suggested. “Oh, same thing,” she said. “Bui what do you do with the whale when you’ve caught it?” “Well,” I answered, entering into the spirit of the game, “you bring it back in a cartoon by tlie light of a lampoon, and, to the music of harpoons, it is typhooned up in the sea-serpent tank under the gunwhale.” She didn’t seem to believe me. “What’s that whistling noise?” Joan asked suddenly. “That,” I said, “is the boon’s pipe which ” r“Sounds as if it wanted a. cleaning;” she interrupted. “What tobacco does he smoke?” “Capstan,” I answered, and took hei on to the fo’e’sle to show her the capstan and the anchors and cables. I thought to impress her by mentioning the weight of the anchors, but she only asked why if we, already knew how .heavy .they were, they had to be weighed every time the ship left harbour. . “Let’s go up on that balcony,” she said, pointing to the navigating bridge forty feet above us. On the way up four “staircases” (Joan’s word for them) I showed hei one .of the big searchlights with Its three-foot-' concave* mirror. “Just what I w,as wanting” she exclaimed, producing a pouder-puff. But no reflection of that pretty face, looked back at her* from tin mirror; for the mysterious law oi optiit? were against her. “Stupid thing!” she said. “Let’s go down to the powder magazine.” Instead, I took her on to the uppei bridge and pointed out- the barn—binnacle! I also explained that this was where the ship was controlled from, and showed her an array of voice-pipes and telephones. She must needs speak down one, of course, and presently asked an amazed watch-keeper in the engine-room what he had had Tor lunch. Then, when my back was turned, she switched on a loud-speaker, and a sudden shrill “Ahoy there! Shiver'niy timbers!” echoed all round the ship. Perhaps it was as well that ; the boat which was to take Joan ashore arrived alongside just then. Before she left I gave her, as a memento of her visit a eap-ribbgn with the ship’s name, H.M.S. Ark, on it in bright letters. Tying it round her hat, she turned to the Officer-of-the-watch and said with a smile. “Please let me look through your—er —periscope. She did—through the wrong end of it. The last I saw of Joan was as she steered the picket boat shoreward? under the tuition of her “darling snorter.” Ten vaars later he used to refer to his wife as “Joan of Arc.”