SPARKLES

Hokitika Guardian, 4 September 1930, Page 3

SPARKLES

SQUASHED. The Economical Customer : Excuse me, wlmt’s tlie cheapest racquet you sell ? 'The Superb Salesman: We never sgli it. AFTER. Tommy : Minnie, daddie lias been to the races, hasn’t lie? .Mother: Yos dear, how did you know? Tommy: Well,.lay moneybox won’t rattle. .(■ A S’ol Di NO LI EE’S DA It EEST; MOMENT. ■ Sergeant: What is the first.thing lo do when cleaning a rvfte? Private: Look at tile number. ■ Sergeant: Aim what has that to do illicit? • Private: To make sure I’m cleaning lav own gun. QUITE PI GUT. Teacher: Now, children, tell me the opposite to the word -misey. '“Happiness,’’Toplied the l class'.' "And tor sadness?’'’- ’ v; ' ! “Gladness.”' ' ■ A “ " • “Ail'd Idr' wde?’G ' ’ :■ ’“Gee-up'!” '. ; '" :u ' ' ■'

THE FINISHING TOUCH. Old l.ady tat elieniist’s) : J’ve a gymkhana coming on ynd was wondering ii you could do something lor it. Chemist's Hoy: The boss os out at; present, but I think lie left instruct-;; ions that you wore to pottitiee it three; times a day. \ ‘ / IT HAD NOT TAKEN. , t A bov just returning from the church of baptism, on reaching homo liis : grandmother came to congratulate; him with caresses and blessings, the boy , refused the caresses, with indignation and. Cried.: “Don’t, spoil my InvilisnrnL Didn’t you know I was just baptised, and the water lias note, totally,dried up?” , U* HELP YOURSELF. 4 ■J-r . ~t . I bey were sitting in a dim corner of the hall. • p 'k< , c; “Give until hiss,” pleaded theiyoung man. - you m; the girl made'no reply.; :. . “Won’t you give me m liiss ?’’• ho asked again/ - "■•' ''" St ill no answer. ' ' “Please juft give me one,” he begged.'. - • ' 1 " ' ' ’ " Aiifl : still hitaushvcrf • ~v ' '“Pxav ai'eyi'iif ’dee. 1 !'.?” he shouted at length.'' '' ' ” - ■'! ' ‘ ‘■'■'•Nb!”’ she smipjl'ocl,' “but are yon paralysed?” ' ;