LIGHTER VEIN

Hokitika Guardian, 28 August 1930, Page 8

LIGHTER VEIN

THE RULE. Visitor: I suppose everyone in the hotel dresses for dinner. Chambermaid:- Oh, "ves, madam meals in bed are charged extra. • { • . •• r > : HIS LAST PLACE. Would-be Employer: And how long were you in your last place? old Lag: Three years. Employer: And what were you doing? Old Lag: Three years. / PROOF. " Wife: Do you think the children are making progress in their singing? Husband: They must be! At first only the man next door complained, but now it’s the whole neighbourhood. WHICH? i . Teacher: 1 will give you a lesson not to do stupid things. When you go home to-night, Tommy, write for punishment a hundred times, “I am a stupid donkey,” and bring the paper to me signeu by your father. A NEW POLISH. “Now,” said the lady engaging a new maid. “I always want you to clean the grates with alacrity.” “Loi;d, mum, I’ve never tried to do ’em with that before; I generally use blacldead.”‘. IT DIDN’T. My little boy was looking at an advertisement when he said : ■‘Mum, what is this?” “That is vanishing cream.” Still looking at the paper, about ten minutes-afterwards ,he said: “Mum, it’s still here!” AN, UNLUCKY PRECEDENT “Why don’t you get married, Thomas?” a vicar asked his gardener. “You know Adam was a. gardner, and lie had a wife.” “Yes, sir,” replied the gardener, “Init he didn’t keep her long after ho got her 1”