BETWEEN WHILES

Hokitika Guardian, 31 July 1930, Page 2

BETWEEN WHILES

OBLIGING

Sandwich-board Alan (to bather who had been robbed on his clothes): A’ou’d better take on my job as far as the station, sir.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

She: Do you remember the day you proposed to me, Jack? I. was so surprised and happy that 1 couldn’t speak for an hour. He: Yes darling, that was the happiest hour of my life.

POOR ORPHAN

Teacher r What is a cannibal Tommy ? Tommy: Please, teacher, I don’t know. Teacher: AVell, if you , ate your father and mother what would you be ? Tommy': Please, teacher, an orphan?

CAN’T HAVE EVERYTHING.

“Elsie," said her mother, wnrningly, “if you’re' so naughty you won't go to heaven." Elsie thought it over, “AA T ell, mother," she said, “I went to the circus on Monday, and the thKatre on Tuesday, and the pictures last night. I can’t expect to go everywhere.”

PAYING HIM BACK

Seeing an old woman of the village in widow’s weeds the vicar began to sympathise. “I had no idea,” he said, “that you had again suffered bereavement.” “It ain’t that, sir,” replied the woman. “When my ole man annoys me I pays him back by going to mourning for me first husband.”

A CALAMITY

Young AVife: Oh, John, the rats have eaten all my cake. Husband: What I all of ; it? Young wife: Every piece. I feel like crying. Husband: Oh,: don’t cry over a few rats.

MORE IMPORTANT,

A horse dealer was trying to sell a wind-broken horse, and was trotting him round for inspection. “Hasn’t lie a lovely coat?” he remarked to the prospective buyer. “Ah, I like his coat all right, but I don’t like bis ‘pants.’ ”

A SHOWMAN’S DILEMMA

“The Queerest Show on Earth” was visiting a. town in the Midlands. Its attractions were, startling, so said the posters. The opening time drew near; so, too, a problem for the manager’s solution. In the first place,' the fasting man was out having his lunch, the bearded lady had run out of glue, a policeman had just taken the American Wonder into custody for picking pockets; no wonder the showman looked worried.