BETWEEN WHILES

Hokitika Guardian, 13 June 1930, Page 2

BETWEEN WHILES

QUITE TRUE

“What can T do,” roared the fiery orator during a demonstration I see my country going to ruin, when 1 see our oppressors’ hands at our throats, strangling us, and the black elomls of hopelessness and despair gathering, on the horizon to obliterate

the golden sun of prosperity? What, I ask you, what can I dp?”

“Sit down !” shouted the audience

SMOOTH RUNNING

A regular traveller on a certain northern I'.'ne was very surprised to find the train running much more smoothily than usual. Much comment was made in the carriage, ant at last he went along to the guard. “Trains running very fine this morning, guard” he said. “Sh! Sh!” said the guard. “Don’t mention it, guv’nor, we’re off the rails!”

CLOSE SHAVES

The horse was a troublesome sort of notorious tbroughut the district, Nevertheless, its owner didn’t seem to have much trouble with it.

“Aren’t you careful with your ..orse—doesn’t he sometimes try to kick you?” asked a friend one day. “No,” answered the owner gravely, “but ho frequently kicks the place where I’ve just been.”

THE COMEBACK

A porter at a certain station had a red nos?, which caused no little amusement to travellers in passing trains. The new stationmaster had not been long at the station before’ his curiosity was aroused.

“Porter, what makes your nose so red?” he asked.

“Oh, pride, sir, pride,” replied the porter. “Tt’s simply with pride because it doesn’t poke itself into other people’s business.”

MUTUAL ENJOYMENT.

Recently a friend gave a very good showing against the local champion, boxing three rounds without being marked,

Next day his face was badly swollen and his eye black. I enquired how ho had received the injuries. “I told the wife how I had enjoyed the three rounds for the sport of it,” he replied, ‘‘and she said, ‘lf you want sport like that you can have it at home, and we can both enjoy it,”

RATTLING THEM OFF.

The music swelled louder and louder, the pianist seeming to work himself into a, frenzy. Theyi . it suddenly dwindled to nothing. “You were quite right about your piano-playing, young man,” said the hostess.

“I am glad you are enjoying it,” returned the youthful Paderewski.

“Yes,” continued the hostess. “You said you’d rattle a few things off on the piano, and two vases have already disappeared.”

A CUTE YOUNGSTER

A little boy had got into the habit of saying “darn,” of which his mother naturally did not approve. ‘Dear,” she said to the boy, “here is sixpence; it is yours if you will promise not to say ‘darn’ again.”

“All right, mother.” lie said, as lie took the money. “I promise ”

As lie lovingly fingered the money a hopeful look came into his eyes, and he said :

“Say. mother, I know a word that’s worth a boh!”

A LONG WAIT

Little Mary’s grandmother had a great weakness for peppermints, and one day Mary, who had been a very good girl, was given one of the peppermints as a reward.

The child sucked it greedily, as if she had tasted no food before like it. Her jov, however, was short-lived, for presently grandmother, saw the child take the sweet from her mouth and place it by the open window.

“'What’s 'the matter, Mary?” inquired the old lady, “Don’t you like your sweet?”

“Rather grandmother!” replied Mary politely. “I’m only waiting for it to cool a bit.”