IN PASSING

Hokitika Guardian, 29 March 1930, Page 6

IN PASSING

SILLY PRIDE. A farmer sold a horse to a neighbour who returned in a day or two, saying that he was not exactly satisfied with the deal. ‘‘There’s only one thing about this mare that I don’t like,” lie said, “she won’t hold her head up.” “Oh that’s only her silly pride,” the farmer explained. ‘‘She will when she’s full paid for.” HE WAS RIGHT. An Aberdonian on the eve of his wed ding day was asked by a friend what the ceremony bad cost him. “Weel, Sandy.” was the reply, “after 1 got married I asked the minister “How much am I due to you?” “Ob.” be replied, “just, what you think she is worth ■ and when T handed him a shillin’ he gave me back six pence, and man, d'.ve ken he was right.” LOOKING Mli VD. It was summer time an 1 a farmer was showing bis new la' o -or round the farm, at the same tini” i xnlriining to lr'm all the duties he would have to do. V hen the farmer bad given bis “ of dlitres the labourer paused a lit’ and said : “What, abeot craning all that snow fr* m round Dm bouse?” h’a r-nier ; .W:bat ar° von talking about,? There’s no, show at Ibis time of tbo year. ?;’ _ "k Lnhouwu-- No. lint bv the time I’ve done my in!) there will be. “HOME.” The futurist artist bad put" the la’st touch to a many-coloured canvas, and stood back to consider the effect, when his wife appeared at the doorway. “I am rather bothered about a title” be said. “Can you suggest anything my dear?” vibe hesitated for a moment. “Why not call it ‘Home?’” die suggested. “Home?’ Why?” “Because,” she said sweetly, “there is no place like it!”

BANNED. lie had been paying unwelcome a( Coition to live sweet young thing for tin- past week. ‘ Whenever she appeared on the sands, the pier, or at the picture bouses, he craved to be her faithful companion. But it was time wasted. “T do wish you would leave me alone,” she said at last. “Very well, my dear, very well,” was the reply of the unwelcome one, “but don’t eat me.” “There’s no fear of that,” was the quick reply, “I’m a Jewess. THE SCRATCH. Mr Attwood had called for his lady love, and while he waited Tommy, the youngest brother strolled in and sat gaging open-eyed at his sister’s admirer. /“What sort of a party’s a scratch..?” asked Tcmitiy suddenly. •“I don’t, know,” was the surprised reply. “Well, we are going to have one,” announced Tommy, -“and you are going to lie invited.” “How do you know, Tommy?” beamed Mr Attwood, fingering a sixpence. “ ’Cause,” said Tommy confident™ 1!v, “I heard dad say to mother that he Imped you would come to the scratch this time.” QUALIFIED. There was once a politician, Iformerly a fanner, whose reputation was such that a colleague, meeting an old man from his district, asked confidentiallv: “What do you think of him down your wav; is he an honest man?” The country man stroked his whiskers and smiled.

"Would you call him a liar?” asked the other. Another stroking of the whiskers, then he replied: “Well, now, T don’t' know that I’d go as far as to call him a liar, but those a.s knew him down our way do say that when he wanted his nigs to come for their feed he had to get someone else to call ’em.”