IN LIGHTER VEIN

Hokitika Guardian, 8 March 1930, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN

A SI.MI'i.J! SOt.n'llON". Father : “Where 1 in the world shall 1 hide Tommy’s Christmas present!-'” Mother; “Why, in the bathroom of course!”

GENEROSITY. Landlord : “(lood morning, Mr Jones you’ll perhaps be surprised to hear that I’m going to raise your rent tliis week.” •Tones; “Tliank goodnes for that, for I can’t!” THE OTHER CHILD. L’tlle Hoy; “Please Mummy, may 1 get up at four o’clock to-morrow ■•lfirning ! J ” ALdher; “Good gracious dear, whv?’ Tittle Hoy: “Because I want to play with my engine before daddy gets up,”

■SEE IT? Ihe Tea-her: “Tommy, you’re not ■E>ne a stroke of work all the morning ’’"d l’v° t'dd you attain and again that 'he dev'l finds work for idle hands to 1r >. Now take your copy hook and write tliat out 20 times.”

STILT, ST-TELLING

Sea. Cook: fsairastically, to new 'lebvMA: “Ever been on a ship before?”

Helper: “Yes; I was a gunner in + ho Xaw at the Battle of Jutland.”

Sen Cook: “Oh. well, start right away, mate and sheet the peas!”

T TEE’S CONTRADICTIONS

The charwoman was complaining to a sympathetic listner of the laziness of one of the ladies who employed her.

“An’ just fancy, mum.” sell said, “she can’t even pick a black beetle off her own shoulder, but must scream to me to do it—-and ’or always braggin’ about bein’ fond of dumb animals!”

ON THE WAY

Said a tramn to a lady at a house he called at: “I’ve asked for money. I’ve begged for money, and I’ve cried for mriiov.”

. “Have you ever thought of, working for 't. mv man 0 ” asked the lady. “No. mum. T haven’t. You. spo, T’m •voim-- through the alphabet, and I ain’t got to W yet.”

POOR EDITH!

Mother: “Hid you call Edith up this

'morning?” ' ' Daughter: “Yes; but she wasn’t down.” :■ Mother: “But why didn’t you call her down ?” Daughter: “Because she wasn’t up.” Mother: Then call lieu- up now and dress her down for not being down when you called her up.”