PASSING MOMENTS

Hokitika Guardian, 22 February 1930, Page 8

PASSING MOMENTS

EXPENSIVE. Landlady: You’ll be careful of those vases, won’t you ? New Lodger: Certainly, Were they 1 expensive ? • Landlady: Yes, it cost me pore dear ’usband twenty-four shies before be won the pair. HIS PRESERVER. A pilot, whilst flying, fell into a canal. A man dashed up, dived in, and brought him safely to land. “Ah, my preserver, you’ve saved my life,” gasped the pilot. “How can 1 repay you, my preserver?” “Nah, then, guv’nor, that’s all right but don’t kid a bloke ’cos ’o’s at a jam factory.” HE DIDN’T CARE. Mother (to little boy in disgrace): If you’re such a: naughty boy you won’t go to heaven, Jacky. .Tacky: Well, I don’t care. I’ve been to the Zoo, and I’ve been to the Exhibition and I’ve been to see Father Christmas, and a chap can’t expect to be taken everywhere, you know. DRY! Sandy had just received a letter from his brother Jock, who had emigrated to the States. The minister of the parish, meeting Sandy, inquired after Jock, and finished up by 'asking: “How does your bromer like prohibition?” “Weel, he doesn’t actually mention it,” replied Sandy. “But I noticed ine stamp on his letter was pinned on. ” AN AFTERTHOUGHT. ' Every Sunday when John came out of church his wife would be very cross with him for giving two shillings in tne collection-plate. He would only say, “Mary, the Lord will repay me.” One day he came in rejoicing that a friend had left him £SOO. “I always told you the Lord would repay mo.” “Well, if you knew it was that way, you silly ass, Why did you not give twice as much.” RETALIATION. A singer who recently passed an evening at the house of a lady stayed rather late. As he rose to go the hostess said: “Pray don’t go yet, Mr Basso, I want you to sing something for me.” “Oh, you must excuse me to-night, it is very late, and 1 should disturb tne neighbours.” “Never mind the neighbours,” said the lady quickly; “they poisoned our j dog yesterday.” JUST FRIENDS. A hotel chambermaid was tipped half a crown not to give away the fact that a couple just arrived were newly married, following upon her having looked into their room and found them disposing of the confetti. Going along the corridor a lady guest stoppped her and queried : “ Honeymoon couple in the end room aren’t they Mary?” Loyal to the half crown, Mary replied: “No madam, you’re quite wrong; they’re just friends.”