PASSING MOMENTS

Hokitika Guardian, 20 November 1929, Page 7

PASSING MOMENTS

SUPERIOR LAYER. “My chicken laid an egg!” Mwstea Willie, who had a bantam hen loi a PL “Huh! that’s nothing,” the Mayor’s son retorted; “my father laid a cornerstone yesterday.” SILVER LINING. Fritz: Dad, you'are a lucky man. Father: How is that? Fritz: You won’t have to buy me any school books this year. I have been left in the same class. tonsorial redundance. . Wife: Deceiver, I hate you. Husband: But yesterday you said you loved every hair on my head. Wife: But not every hair on your shoulder. PUTTING A KICK IN SHAKESPHERE. Teacher: What did Juliet say when she met Romeo in the balcony ? Pupil: Couldn’t you get seats in the orchestra ? ELIMINATING THE STATIC. Doctor: tour husband must be absolutely quiet. Here is a sleeping draught Wife: When do I give it to him? Doctor: You don’t you take it yourself. HAUNTED. Doctor: Yes, it is some chronic evil which has deprived you of health and happiness. Patient: Sh-s-sh ! For heaven’s sake, speak softly— she’s sitting in the next room. AGE Of’vISIBILITY. “What’ll we do with all those invisible hairnets we have left in stock?” asked the clerk. 'Put ’em on sale ►.s ti e newest material for street dresses,” replied the head of the department. DON’T BE AN ASS. Temperance Lecturer: Now, suppose I had a pail of water and a pail of beer on this platform, and then brought on a donkey. Which of the two would he take? Voice: He’d take the water. “And why would he taKe tlie water?’ “Because lie’s an ass.” SECOND SIGHT. Wilber, having been to New York, was telling bis cronies of the sights he saw. “An’ up at the hospital T seed one of these machines that tell if a man s lying.” “Pooh,” said Luke from Ins corner. “Did you ever see one?” See one? I married one!’*