BY YOUR LEAVE

Hokitika Guardian, 24 October 1929, Page 2

BY YOUR LEAVE

Orderly Officer: Any complaints ? Private Brown: \es; the bread’s wrong. Contradicts the law of gravity. ‘‘Explain yourself.” “Well, sir, it’s as ’eavy as lead', and it won’t go down.” Parson: Why are you in prison, my good man? Prisoner: For driving a car too slowly. \ Parson: You mean too quickly? Prisoner: No; I mean too slowly. The owner overtook me. A holiday maker went fishing on the pier, and, having pulled out a goodsized plaice, threw it back again. “Wot d’yer do that for?” asked a native. • 1 “1 don’t want one what’s been trod on,” retoited the man. “Are you used to large dinner parties?” asked tlffi mistress. “Yes, I can serve both ways, mum,” replied the cook. “Both ways? Whatever do you mean.?” “.So they’ll come again or so they’ll stop away,” replied the cook. Pedestrian: Well, we’re right off the beaten track now, anyway. No traffic congestion in this neighbourhood ! Village Constable: Oh, I dunno. Only lost week we. ’ad a- bit of a collision ’ore between old Josh Dnggin’s bat lit hair and tho postmistress’s tricycle ! “Hadn’t you better go and tell your master?” said the motorist to the farmer’s hoy, who stood looking at the load of hay upset in the lane by a collision. “ 'E knows.” replied the hoy. “Knows? How can he know!” “’Cos Vs under the hay!” “Have you anything to say before the sentence is passed?” inquired the judge of a convicted burglar. “The only thing I’m kicking about,” replied the burglar, glaring with open scorn at the chief witness against him, “is being identified by a man that kep’ ’is ’ead under the bedclothes tho ’ole time I was in the room ”

THE MiDDLE GENERATION.-

'! “We who were once the Younger Generation of 1913 are bearing the. uurden and- the heat of the day,” writes Elmer Davis in “Harper’s 1 Magazine.”; “vVe go to the office every morning and keep the wheels gbing round in the glorious squirrel cage that is called prosperity, and we try to bring up cniltnen' ■ wiw> shall know a, little better than we did what z is all about if anvthing. We are doubtless to blame for a good deal, and shall be to blame for some of the shortcomings of our children; but to saddle us with the guilt of everything that has gone wrong, since 1910 and everything that is going to go wrong up to 1950 seems excessive. No doubt faulty home training has had a good deal to do with some of the errors of each generation; but I aip not persuaded tnat the present tendency to throw all the responsibility back on the parents is any more practically usefhl,’ however plausible it may lie from the scientific point, of view, than the earlier doctrine that carried it back to Man’s first disobedience and the fruit of that forbidden tree. It will not do the next generation any harm to take at least some of the responsibility for its behav.our on itself.”