QUIPS & CRANKS

Hokitika Guardian, 12 October 1929, Page 1

QUIPS & CRANKS

Visitor: Well, William what’s happened since we were here last year? Native: ’Erfiey ’as got married. Visitor: Oh!. I’m glad to hear it. Native: Eh? What ’arm ’as ’e done you, then? ' -He: I went to the palmist’s last week to have my character read. She: Yes? What did he say? He: He didn’t say anything. He looked at my hand, coughed a bit, and : then gave me my money back.

Curiosity: Did you give your wife that little lecture oh economy you talked about? Domesticity: Yes. ' Ctqriostity : any results ? . 'Domesticity: I’ve got to give up smoking. ,

Willie: I found mother the other day crying over your book of poems. His Sister’s Fiancee (delighted): Oh Is that so? (Aside): What glory! What fame awaits me! For a mfin to bring tears to the eyes of such a flint-hear/t----ed woman as that is certainly a great achievement. (To Willie): She was really weeping? Willie: Yes; she said it nearly broke her heart to think that a daughter of hers was going to marry an idiot who could write such rot as that.

The teacher was anxious that hi" class should shine as the inspector was about to examine the boys’ knowledge of history. Clearing bis throat the inspector addressed the class-. . “Who was it,” said he, sternly, “who exclaimed in despair: ‘A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse?’ Now tell me ” The teacher was anxious till :at last a bov put up bis hand. “Please sir.” said the bov, “ it was someone ivho’d drawn a blank in a sweepstake!”