OYSTERS—AND REPARATIONS

Hokitika Guardian, 21 September 1929, Page 2

OYSTERS—AND REPARATIONS

(IV SIR PERCIVAL PHILLIPS to • “Daily Mail.”)

He was the usual type of German head smooth, efficient, perfect in English and his knowledge of English ways, and a keen observer of his cosmopolitan clients.

I knew him first in the lean days immediately after the Armistice; we met again frequently in a business way during the occupation of the Ruhr, and now once more after an interval of three and a half years. . .

“Yes, Cologne is more prosperous,” he said in answer to my query, “but business is not yet what it should be. Our people are still so very poor. They have to make suth ,sacrifices tor reparations. The country is staggering under the burden.”

I had heard that story before, and said so. He agreed that was an old one, but that nevertheless it was true. He was inspired to develop theme along familiar lines.

My bill arrived. It included a lobster; thcf smallest lobster in the icebox, so the head waiter informed me when serving it. I wondered at the time why he emphasised this demerit, but the reason was now clear. The charge for the lobster was 13s. “Surely not,” I protested. “These jests are in bad taste. You know 1 am not a profiteer on tour.” • “The correct price, I assure you,” replied the head waiter with evident sincerity. “There is a Government tax of 50 per cent, on lobsters and the like. That is why I reminded you that it whs a small one. The ordinary prices are from 15s to 205.”

“And how many do you have to throw away daily in this povertystricken city?” I asked. “None,” answered the head waiter obviously surprised by the question. “We sell them all.”

“To tourists, of course?” “By no means,” he said, “mostly to Gerihans.”

“But will Germans pay such, high price's?” I asked. ' , ;

j.he head waiter nodded with pride. “Ancf- 1 what is more,” he. replied, “I do nht dare remind them of the price beforehand. When 1 have done so they have'haid. ‘lf I want to know the price I will ask you. Fetch the lobster and do not argue.’” • “ And this sort of thing is not merely an aiinual treajb or the celebration of axi anniversary like a golden wedding?” ■' ,' • ' , '. “Ndt at- all,” said''the head waiter, “they are as commpn as veal cutlets.” “Any other luxurious tastes?” I

inquired. “Caviare,” he replied, “and oysters We sell oysters at Is each.” “And they are eaten.”

“Like wild-fire,” 1 said the hehd waiter, who prides himself on his English idioms.

I paid for the lobster with rage in my heart. “Arid so you think the reparations bill is too high?” I asked as I rose to .?o.

“Impossible,” said the head waiter solemnly. “It is suicide.”