NOW AND THEN

Hokitika Guardian, 17 August 1929, Page 6

NOW AND THEN

Old Man: “Hello there. Are you going to school or are you going fishing?” , f The Would-be Truant :"“I dunno yet. p m just wrestling with me conscience.” Judge: “What possible excuse did you fellows have for acquitting that murderer?” Jury: “Insanity.” Judge: “What, the whole twelve of you?” Heavy stranger (returning to his seat after interval): “Did I tread on your toes as I went out?” Seated man (grimly): “You did, sir.” Heavy stranger (to wife) : “That’s right, Matilda; this is our place.” “Come and dine with us to-morrow,” said the gentleman who had made money. “Sorry,” returned the other, “I can’t. I’m going to see ‘Hamlet.’ ” “That’s all right. Bring him with you.” Two tramps met in a certain part of a town. One said to the other, “ What are you doing down this part? I thought your beat was the other side of the bridge ? ’ ’ “Yes, it lised to be,” said the other tramp, “ but I gave that to my son for a wedding present.” A farmer was awakened in the night by a noise in the poultry house. He rushed out of the house, and, arming himself with a revolver, made his way to the scene of the trouble. “Who’s there?” lie called. There was no answer. “Who’s there?” he cried again. Again, no answer. “All right,” cried the farmer, “I’ll give you one more chance. Who’s there —before I shoot.” A shaky voice came forth: “ Nobody —only us ’ens.” •