HERE AND THERE

Hokitika Guardian, 7 August 1929, Page 7

HERE AND THERE

• Family Friend : So your boy got his B.A. and his M.A. before leaving college? His Host: Yes, indeed, but his PA still supports him. **' * - * During a football match in Yorkshire a spectator persisted in making rude remarks about the judgment of the referee. . At last the official went up to him and said: “Look here, my man, I’ve been watching you for the last fifteen minutes.’” “Ah thowt so,” came the reply “ Ah knew very well tha wasn’t watching t’ game!” • • * s * * l*. .• The Provost of the little Scottish town was noted for his unhappy choice of phrases, but he excelled himself on the occasion of the presentation of a clock and purse to a local resident, who was leaving the town. “The contents of this purse,” said the Provost, “ will in time inevitably disappear, but,” he added, placing his hands on the clock, “ here is something which •will never go!” -*** * * * * He: What would you think if I Were to steal just one little kiss? • She: Fathead! What would you think of a burglar who had a chance to steal a hundred pounds and only took a penny ? * * # * * * * The successful candidate had just anpeared. A crowd of excited men surged round him, lifting him shoulderhigh, and jostled him along the street. “Thanks so much, my friends,” said the successful candidate, “ hut please let me down; I’d much rather walk to my car.” “ Car be blowed,” shouted back one of those who bore him onwards, “ it’s the canal you’re going to.”