AN UNORTHODOX SPEECH

Hokitika Guardian, 16 July 1929, Page 3

AN UNORTHODOX SPEECH

MR M'DOUGALL’S MA!DF»! .effort. rri 1 ; vri urTMi. j ! ji i

A BREEZY DEBATER. :HOIJSEtGREATLY AMUSED

AYELLINGTON, July 11. • The solemn' tenor of - the’ Address-in-Reply debate was rudely shattered this eveping when , Mr D. APDougall, the Uriitqd member for Alataura, rose to make his maiden speech in the House. Combining a rich Scottish brogue with a wit that was remarkable for its breadth, ATr APDougall reduced the House and galleries to paroxysms iff mirth by his sallies at the expense of the Reform Party. So uproarious was the l laughter at times that the’scene closely resembled a first, night, ,at i \ a music-hall corririly: AH the: solemnity; and clecqrum.; usually associated with tiie- House of Parliament were incop'tinentiy cast: aside, ' ;m; ' In commencing his. speech,-, Air AI 1 Dougall sifitej jthat ho joined. with previous, speakers in expressing thankfulness at the return . to health of his •Majesty the Kingi He ,also regretted tlie departure- of Ithe Governor : General,Sir Cii'firles Fergussoni land his > good lady,” and he desired to tell the 'Hotise why tlieir Excellepcies "had been so opppl.ar: They came froin the “land of.the healher, the bonnet, the plaidic, tho kilt, and the feather.”—(Laughter.)

An explanation of liis action in demurring vvlien the motion that tlio lime of the Lender otf Opposition hould he extended was put to the louse earlier in the session was then made hy Mr M'Dougall j who stated that lie did it in his simplicity.— Laughter.) But he had bpen reading ill about the unemployment in the country and hq thought it would be hotter for the House to get, down, to business instead of wasting, time in alking.—(“ Hear, hear.”) However,

■ now realised that if they did: not let off a lot of gas it might gradually ccumulate i util there was a huge explosion, and the roof of the chamber as blown off.—(Loud laughter.).. It V arid be a very slid, thing po see the oof gone and the pillar,s falling down, a : t was j :st as well that they should are a safely valve.—(Laughter.) If he Imn. g ntleman’s time wore to he xtciidcd. again lie (Mr M'Dougall) voiild hold Ins peace and suffer grief nd pain till the end of the present ’arliamcnt.—(Laughter.) 11 I was surprised to hear the lion, number for Biccarton get up and talk i bout new members ‘being blind dogs mil blind pups,” continued Mr M'Dougall. i Mr H. S. S. 'Kyle: No. Political mips.

Mr M'Dougall: Now that sounds Vjmlii'ul from a man with a colloge dmsii'pn. who represents the ‘‘gold, ms" of the country, doesn’t .; it? •‘ Blind pens, indeed!” and the effort '•« p-t int/' it, and the way lie turned ' nd; twisted himself about, .! thought he was”etting to give birth to triplets. \ _ / T Tn"n;i i'j r UjS laughter.) :> nf’lle'do anything,'hut he still rehmins a "mule ; an'd-tt;louse Is always a louse, although 1 - it'rrawls ■n the gown of a queen. —(Renewed laughter.) ...

Mr M'Dougall once, more turned -his attention to the Leader of tile Opposition (Mr Coates), who, unfortunately, was absent .and, did not hear the tirade hurled at his head by the man “ frao the Hielands.”

Many silly things had been said about Mr Coates in the. Reform press and the Reform journal, the Newsletter, continued Mr M'Dougall'. One story was told of Mr Coates riding on the hilltops of his ranch and coming across a pilgrim of the night with' no' place bf:abode and no visible mean's of support. jflpxjd off his horse;afid grabbed the : wa;ipclqren' earmarked •; ft',, < andj j said :i “, }YqU’;?qi mini':,’; arid that. waH given Ws a -qurfHiicafion for a lhry jpj-ime Minister.— (Laughter.) ; j S : > i:j... iT When thplatp Pijime MinisßWj-liittL .laid waste tbe country’and ljeoucgd tjifpeople tt’o ; starvation, said Mr M‘Dougalli, lie /was ' kicked ■ out. 1 [o6* .tlnin Hveiit*‘to Sir 'Joseph sand laid fdl'diife’ sins aiid iniquities at' his feet.' Sir Joseph, in his humble and kindly Way, said: “I freely forgive you, brother. Go and sin no more,”—(Loud

I laughter). If'he had been in the same [ position lie would have lost no time in putting the pipes over hjs.shquldey and skirling “ The Cock o’ the North;’.' I . (laughter.)— wind up with “ The, politic-aim muddle I left behind me.”—(Renewed laughter.) Mr M'Dougall next proceeded to deal devastntingly with the Taupo railway. Ijle brandished an illustrated booklet which, he said, had no name and which had, coirie in the night: the same as Mr Coates’s wanderer. Tjns booklet was 14 years old, and lie considered that was sufficient evidence to condemn the railway from the stayt. The, booklet dealt with the. fertility..of the. pumice lands, and oneiiijlustratipli showed two big turnips growing where tlieye had been a dead sheep the yepr lieforq,—(Laughter.) Another picjji)ye showed a big bullock which was stated to he 18 hands high and which, had grown on the pumice lands. It mqst have been, as high as the railway itself. Eighteen hands was about six feet, said Mr M'Dougall, and a horse the same size would be a pretty high beast—in 'fact, that bullock must have been bigger liHaii the tallest entirq in • the country.—(Renewed uproar.) After recounting his early ndyen- \ tares in the political field, whence stood against Mr G. J. Anderson, fur Mataura, Mr M'Rpugall gave a noyel . and startling description of the early colonisation of New Zealand. Fiiist of all, he said, John Bull .sent out missionaries to convert the. Natiyesy Tlpm he sent out the brandy bottle to divert' the natives. While the Natives .wqr® .being diverted, John, Rull cgtne: put, ran up the Union. Jack',; s.ang the National Anthem, flic hehiediptiquyi: and - t)ie T teTfit'drjf/f'dirsame"Avay ;s ?nfe lijte Government sent a gunboat to Samoa to slioot the natives if they dkl pot JJsubniitL LYj.f , r In conclusion, the speaker.l stated that he had expected a goos deal ;• of “barracking” ‘and interjeciiionV'ajid lie was rather sorry that he didypofc get much, as there was nothing-like.: a hit of ‘“barracking” to bring o.iit jjjhe best in a Scotsman.—(Laugher.), >/, “I appreciate the latitude, you ff aye given me, Mr Speaker,” he concluded, “for I may have slipped over the byqad path at times.” .• Yv ■ Aftqc-. haying spoken, ,fot. nearly /an t hour iVlr/ M'Dougall; sat j i dowitf. and brought to a conclusion ;P.he ofi-tbftinost ‘unorthodox ; evfcy heard [li the Represpnta'tiyes.’i* j .