JUST SO!

Hokitika Guardian, 6 July 1929, Page 8

JUST SO!

Friend: There wasn’t a very big account of your daughter’s wedding in the papers this morning.”

Parent (sadly): No; the big account was sent to me I”

Out in the country even (public signs come direct to the point. In a garage is posted a notice:— “Don’t smoke round the tank. If your life isn’t worth anything petrol is 1”

Judge: Speeding, eh?. How many times have you been before me? Speeder; Never your Honor. I’ve tried to pass you on the road once or twice, but niy bus will only do fiftyfive.

The old gentleman tumbled over a five-barred gate just in time to save himself from the angry bull. “Yon brute, he snl"' 1 sliakin - his fist at the animal. “And I’vg been a vegetarian all my life.”

Beggar (to lady of house)- T’not asking yer for food or clothing, nor even lor work. Lady: What do you want then? Beggar: You don’t hapnon to have an old tyre for my car, do you?

Two very prim, old-fashioned ladies were discussing the modern generation.

■ “Yes.” said one. “T don’t know what the world is coining to—women niiisouernding as men ” “Yes.” chimed in the other, “and every-body .is suspect,ml too. Why, only yesterday I reeeived‘,n leter addressed to ‘Dear Sir or Madam!’ ”

An English tourist was climbing to the top of a Scottish mountain with his guide. When lie reached Jl -- summit lie gazed round at the glorious view, and then exclaimed: “AfW climbing all this way to see the view I’ve forgotten the glasses.” Tlmt’ts a’riglit, sir,” said the guide; “there’s naebody aboot; we can just drink oot o’ the bottle!”