QUIPS IN COURTS.

Hokitika Guardian, 17 September 1928, Page 4

QUIPS IN COURTS.

“I am never with any male friends bar my wife.”—A man at North London.

“Because I am a man’s wife, have I got to del everything he tells me?” —A, woman at East Ham.

Man at Penge, S.E.: I went to take my clothes off, as I usually do when 1 go to bed.”

“She is a woman with a grievance. She is a single woman who cannot get married.” —A landlady’s description of her .lodger at Bow County Court Defendant at Mansfield accused of theft: “I admit, it. '.but I deny it.” Dr. Crone, the Willesden Magistrate to ;a man with two black eyes applying for a summons': Von certainly have prima facie evidence. Willosdcn Magistrate: Did you assault your fellow lodgers? Defendant: Indeed no; we live above them * * * * Witness at Bow County Court: I looked ono way, then tile other way, and then the othor way, hut nothing was approaching Counsel: How did you manage to look in three directions? Witness: To the left, the r.glit, ami in front

A .witness named Christian spoke so slowly at Bow County Court tliat a solicitor exclaimed, “Christian do go faster please 1” Police Sergeant at Ivingston-on-Thames. The defendant smelt strongly of drink. Defending Solicitor: So do a lot of us at times, but it does not signify that we are drunk. A Nottingham Woman: My husband is always angry when he backs a loser. The Solicitor: Did he [back a winner when lie married von? The Woman: He often says I am an also ran. * * * * .* A Solicitor at Shoreditch County l Court: You say your lodger is a nuisance and also that he draws the dole. Is that a nuisance? The Landlady (sharply): No, a disgrace.

The Magistrate at Willesden: You say your husband threatens to'shoot you. But lie has not done so/ Idle Woman; I thought I would come here before be did. Lawyer at Lambeth: This turning was a kind of cul-de-sac with two entrances.