QUIPS IN THE COURT

Hokitika Guardian, 7 August 1928, Page 3

QUIPS IN THE COURT

Man at Bow County Court: I asked him to make meai suit at a reasonable price but it would only fit a bov. The tailor: Boy’s price.

Solicitor at Thames Police C'otiri : We are' told that in the next world there will he no marriage or giving in marriage. The Magistrate (Mr Cairns): That is why it is called Paradise.

Man at Stratford, E. (explaining why he refused to go away when told by a policeman): I am civilised, and I could not go away because I had promised to wait for my young lady.

A Father at West Hartlepool : My son can speak the truth as well as a policeman. They arc not all George Washingtons in the force.

Constable at Stratford, E. (referring to drunken man): lie was standing under an arc-lamp trying to light a candle on it.

Nottingham Solicitor: What brand of beer do you prefer?—Man : Any beer will do for me so long as I can get some. ***** Mr Hay Halkett, tbe Marylebonc Magistrate: “Creating a disturbance is very impressive, but it is not very explicit. Much better to say how lie was creating a disturbance.

Woman at Mansfield, Nottinghamshire: He spurred me with his back heels, Lancashire fashion.

Witness at Marylebone: Four of the prisoner’s chums set about the constable, so I set about them to keep them employed while the constable took the man-to the station.

A Solicitor at East Ham: How came you to see this accident?-The Witness: By the simple process of using my eyes. How would you have done it?

The Magistrate’s Clerk at Reading: Is the defendant any relation?—The Complainant: Oil No. He’s just my son-in-latv. * > * * *

Judge Turner, at Westminster County Court, disposing of a case concerning the price of a hair-waving machine: As an old married man one hears how women envy others whose hair is naturally curly. They spend as much on one hair-wave as ft spends on haircutting in twelve months.

\ Defendant in an assault case at Reading: My father-in-law thinks ho is the only man who lias been in the nrmv On Friday evening when he has drawn his money he is always drilling everybody at home and ruling a horse. V Wife at Romford P'oliee Court: He never assaults me; he gives me a clout now and then. „

A Solicitor -,10 on „ West Hartlepool: A,«l,vo HP “ of him in real sergeant-majoi style The Witn...: 01,, I those serceont-mojor.. 1 **,. ..... Armv sergeant-major. Hit bone ‘Possibly.