Page 4 Advertisements Column 5

Hokitika Guardian, 3 July 1928, Page 4

AN HORATIAN ODE. Dear men about town, —I’m quite concerned about the next election. I’ve looked through all the candidates to make a wise seleclion. I ain’t a bloke wot goes to church to car the -ymns and preachin’, but yet I likes the parson coves and listens to their teachin’. So when I reads the other (lay and ’ears the big gun’s roar from Canon James, ’ow we can’t vote for no one nevermore, I puts on me inv flunkin' cap and thinks for mighty jong; this parson bloke ’o might he fight—’e surely can’t be wrong. 1 hiusu’t vote for any cove who ain’t a, perfect man. I’ve got to sort their virtues upon some real ’igli-class plan, ifeo then I lists the candidates and sorts ’em all up straight; there’s number one, I know ’o smokes—that means VII hive to wait. And number two works jolly ’ard to earn a daily crust and ’as a spot when goin* ’iime. ’ls chances;' Well, they’re bust. Wot is there, though, a bloke can do some parson cove don’t damn? jjfo plaster saints are livin’ ’ere. Ob, ij-ot an ass I am! If we’ve to vote as parsons tell the blokes wot we’il elect will he some namby-pamby coots without no intellect; some sawny, empty-’eaded coons without a grain of spunk, ’oo never done the littlest sin because they’re full of funk. There ain’t a bloke with any brain ’oo don’t do wrong some day; why, even blokes like you and me may ’ave opr busts—we may. So I shall vote just ’ow I likes; leave parsons to their sorters. I’ll pick the /bloke I likes the best. ’E’ll win ! Yours truly, 'Grace.— J.H.

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