TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 12 November 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

— LONDON, Aug. 1G... Through his solicitor, .Samuel expressed the deepest contrition for offending against the law, and it seemed that there was no very great difficulty in the way of his returning to Leah’s arms—until it was discovered that Leah herself was the greatest of difficulties. She is a very attractive girl, and was vorv smartly dressed. Samuel caught her eve as she stood in the witness-box hut she tosseil her head disdainfully and resolutely kept her face turned to the magistrate. She tosser her head again, and even more disdainfully, when Samuel’s solicitor suggested that the reason why Samuel had not lived with her lately was that he felt lie ought to he apart from her until they were made one by the Jewish ceremony. “ That was not the reason,” she declared bitterly. "He went away from me without telling me where he was going—and lie never even said goodbye.” " ] I’m !” the magistrate commented. Rut I suppose you are still loud ol him ? ” Leah's pretty face seemed to turn I > marble. " I did love libn.” she said, coldly, *' hut I do not love him now.” Samuel's solicitor shrugged his shoulders hopelessly. " I lie two were together only on Sunday last.” he sighed. In the same breath l.eah admitted tins and announced her intention not to he Samuel’s wife. She vowed it again, and more firmly, try as the magistrate might to impress upon her that she was Ids wife, willy-nilly. “ I’m young." .-lie said. " and I eouldn t think of being with him all my lilt mo life.” " Why, he let his mother give me my wedding ring!” she added, with line scorn. Then I.call's lather went into the box and asserted that he was opposed to the wedding belnre it took place ; was still opposed to it; and would lie thankful if it could he annulled. The magistrate now grew very grave. •' It seems to me,” lie said, "that the husband must he regarded as having entrapped his wife into marriage. This is a very serious matter." And so. instead of witnessing a joyful reunion, the court saw Samuel remanded in custody for a week and Leah trip haughtily out with her father. j Here is a human story of another kind. Elizabeth, an old, old woman with one eye, an age-old shawl, and shiny black bound that balanced very perilously oil her lew grey hairs, had been liniial lying alcuholieally helpless at tlic very door of the police station. .More in sorrow than in anger a policeman had gathered her up and put her gently down again inside Hie station. Poor old Elizabeth. Gould you ever guess what laid caused her to mistake the step of the police-station lor her bed round tbe corner in the secondlloor hack f She had been to a wedding. " and there I had a drop, sir.” she apologised. ” Rut I’m afraid you’ve been here before, said the magistrate, not unkindly. "I think I discharged you last time." The gnnler chuckled behind his charge list. "That’s light, sir.” he declared. “ And she promised to he good and sign the pledge.” Elizabeth slowly nodded in agreement. " Dearie me,” she whispered. 1 " 'Tis true, ’tis true ! ” While the magistrate is deciding now 1 to protect her from future weddings. : Elizabeth will he well looked after by the police for the next eight days. I LONDON, Sept.. 18. i Henry Afacomu hie, a sailor. sat down mi the steps of a police station ! and intuited what was left of his wag- J es, which came to Is. 3d. He remain- , eil on the steps. “(L> away,’’ said the constable on duty. The Alacoiiacliie .sat tight, and in due course he was taken inside, and provided with a supper and a cell. “AATiy did you not go away when you were told?” demanded the magistrate. ‘‘Because my ship sails on AA’ednesday,” replied the Maconaehie dourly. ‘‘l see,” said Mr Cairns brightly ‘'Like most Scotsmen you are wise even in your c-ups, and you wanted free lodging, it is a good scheme and I will carry it right through. A'ou will lie remanded in custody until your ship sails. The Maconncliie departed, smiling grimly with his Is. 3d. intact. Arthur, who lives at Rowton House King's Cross, and wears spectacles and a, black moustache, appointed himself assistant window cleaner to a costumier’s .shop in Great Portland

street. Long before the regular window cleaner arrived on Monday afternoon Arthur was Inisy with ladder and duster inside the shop. And then the ladder slipped and to prevent himself from falling Arthur clutched a cape with one hand and a frock with the other and floated gently to the ground with CIO worth of women’s wear acting as a parachute. Anyhow, that is the story Arthur told to Mr McKenna, tlie magistrate at Marlborough street Police Court yesterday; but what bothered the Bench was how the cape had got wedged under Arthur’s waistcoat and down his right trousers leg, while the frock had somehow found its way down the left leg of his trousers. Arthur himself said he was surprised but explained that not being used to women's wear the garments had just occurred. But lie was not so surprised as the regular window cleaner when he discovered that Arthur had supplanted him in his job. “You see the ladder slipped and 1 had to grab something.” insisted Arthur. “Quite." agreed Dm magistrate drilv as he hound Arthur over.

Joyce and Beryl are fair. Huffy flapper twins, aged 20. A\ hen they stood in the dock the gaoler was not sure which was which, and lie was not easy in his mind until he had made a note that Joyce wore a blue raincoat and Beryl a grey tweed coat. Should those twins decide to change coats Beryl would be Joyce and Joyce would be Beryl. The twins were charged with shoplifting—stealing silk stockings from a West, End store—and as other charges are to be made against them they were remanded on bail, As they left

the court the gaoler softly repeated: ‘•Joyce, blue, Beryl, grey.” #»*»*» Early in the morning Henry, according to ti constable, “had an altercation with a milk-cart.” Judging from the state of his trousers Henry seemed to have had n’.row with an entire dairy. Ijive had a row with an entire dairy. 'Much of the morning milk intended for Hit-dwellers in the neighbourhood of Piteadilly-eirctis had flowed down Henry’s trousers into Henry s shoes Henry merely wanted a rum and milk and after raiding the milk-cart his next objective would probably have been a distillery. .****« John. who is on a visit to London, arrived in the dock a day late. I am not used to police courts,’ lie explained apologetically, “and yesterday morning. in answer to my bail, 1 went next door to the police station, by mistake. They did not seem to want mo as 1 did not wish to obtrude I took my departure.” John, who had been seeing more ol London’s night life than was good lor him. paid Ins the difference between a police station and a police court. a * * * * Gertrude from the dock gave the assembled constables a lesson in politeness. “When a gentleman spebiks tn me," she said impressively. “I always reply, that is poiitness. If a gentle man did not speak to me and I. addressed him first flint would he impertinence and (indignantly) I .am never impertinent. Hut two constables declared that Gertrude had been very impertinent not for the first time, and a fine ol 10s njhhed the interesting lecture ol its value. LONDON. Sept. 27. She stepped into the dock at Maiilebone Police Court yesterday like an animated picture from the past. Jessie was her name and servant maid her occupation ; her age was in the early ’forties, and she was very well dressed in the fashion of about twenty years ago. Her gown, well cut and ol goad material, coincided her ankles, hei long hair was frizzed at the sides and arranged in a bun at the hack, she h.,d a feather in her lint and a hoa rolln< 1 her neck, and in her gloved right hand she carried a handling containing C 1 HO in notes. Here was 1007 complacently facing 1927. and there was a certain charm a him t her hearing. She was the sort ol servant maid one used to read about, the maid who never leaves her mistless, and. in her service, time lcid stood still. With her savings in her handling she spout a farewell evening with modern maids, and, for the first time j„ life, drank too much and was found by a constable sleeping on Hie doorstep of J public-house, with W’’’ ;£l(il) untouched. "A'ou lire very lucky to have fallen into I lie hands of the police." said Mr Bihgley. the magistrate. • T mu not in the habit of taking drink.” replied Jessie severely as she elegantlv gripped her long skirt wila her left hand. pMted her hack hair with the right, and with becoming dignity stepped out of the court. AA e may have progressed during the last op 'years, hut they certainly had an air in 1007. ! 1,, a cry from the heart Beat rife l,],e Hondo, who on STiturday will share the dock with her husband, who is accused ol housebreaking, is alleged to have aid to a detective wh.rdeclared he found stolen property in her rooms; 'Kor Gods sake, don t lake the si nil' away. He Ins been a ('nod man to me. i "ill give you a tenner il yea will leave it behind. He Inis done all this to keep me si might.” The value of the stolen go.nl is liv'd at. £l7O. Two stvA .rt Irishmen. AA’illiam Fitzgerald, and Edward ilarrignn bullied men and frightened women by their methods <d begging in Portland Square. Fitzgerald who had 82 convictions • against him, got- into trouble at the age of nine, when lie was prosecuted , or stealing sweets. Afterwards lie ad--1 advanced, among other crimes, to roh- , hery with violence. | ‘•These two great big hulking men are well able to work, hut they prefer pestering people lor charity.” oh- ; served Mr Binglev. as lie sentenced I'itzgerald whom he described as a . danger to society, to one month's hard I labour, and Ilarrignn. who had in clean ! record before he met Fitzgerald, to . one day : With most of the “regulars” away ; hopping, new beggars have been very ■ numerous in the AA est End recently And many of them come from Ireland, l*' * * * I Air. Binglev the other day had a lilt against the obscure scientific lanj gunge used by doctors in giving evideuce. Yesterday a doctor said that he had put seven sutures in U woman’s ;i rill. 'Mr Binglev (sharply): Seven what The Doctor ( hastily) : Seven stitch.