TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 27 August 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

FINDING ADVEXTI'RE IN A TAXI-CAB. Adventure may he found in a taxicab plying between stations in ]/>ndon more certainly and completely than in ships sailing between tlic ports of tho world. I will go further and say that the- streets of London will provide more surprise which is the soul of adventure than is served up in the Seven Seas. Not in solitude but in multitude thrives tho spirit of romance and that is why seamen bored by the monotony of voyagers that give no change turn to the busy streets of tlie crowded city to seek the thrill of real romance. VVlien John, a, middle-aged, respectable resident of surhurhia, carrying an umbrella- in one hand a cardboard box containing a silk hat in the other, boarded a taxicab at Victoria- Station he did not dream that he was driving to meet the adventure of his life. True, he hits been a special constable. and as such was prepared to face danger from a. sense of duty, hut no would have laughed at the suggestion that- ho would meet his Waterloo in Sloane-square. But the spirit of adventure, mischievous and somewhat malicious, hoarded that taxicab and drew the attention of John, nursing his silk hat. to the clock in the taximeter ticking

away in darkness owing to the failure of the lamp placed to illuminate the dial. Prompted by the sprightly spirit of adventure John heat on the. glass panel with his umbrella and the elder-

ly owner-driver of the taxicab drew up outside a public-house in Sloanesquare. John, clinging to his umbrella and his silk hat, jumped out of the cab, dashed up to P.C. 352 B. and requested him to interrogate the foolish cabman whose light had failed. Then things began to happen. P.C. !!od B. producing the official notebook, began to take down information, in which lie was so enthusiastically assisted by John that the officer coldly requested him to desist from jumping about and hutting in. Time having been called at the adjacent publichouse, a crowd quickly collected, and the majority, resenting being hanged «>y John’s silk hat and umbrella took the side of tne taxicab driver and suggested that John should be bumped, hanged, clumped, and generally suppressed.

P.C-. Jd2 B. struggling with his notebook, resented John’s persistent efforts to help and told him. to go away and behave himself, but John refused to take the hint, with the result that he was arrested for insulting behaviour and yesterday at Westminster Police Court hound over l>y Mr Bovd the magistrate to keep the peace. ' A tame ending to a really adventurous journey.

Adventure also came unexneetedlv t<> Thomas, a still-mom attendant at a Vest .haul restaurant, when on Sunday night, sitting in the family kit- * h> .. iiitli his mother, sister and sweetheart, he heard a scuffling on the rioorstop. He went- unstnirs and opened the door only to meet a. blow in what he described as the “upner region.” He was dragged on the floor and received a cut on the hem] which sent him to the hospital. Two young waiters were accused of doing grievous bodily harm to Thomas, who appeared with his head heavily bandaged, but the real facts and Headi enture will not he known until next week, although a defective sergeant hinted at a. neigh,hourly quarrel. * * * -* * ’ *.

Elias the silent sought adventure with £7O in his nncket, and found only a police cell. Before he had spout a pound the sheltering arms of law and order gathered him in from temptation and left him with his £7O. which included a £OO note, and Ids conscience. Instead of being grateful, Elias sullenly refused all information about himself, and retaining a golden silence was fined Os for being drunk. I have an intuition bordering on conviction that Elias and T will meel again before flaming June give- way to blazing July.

Rosa of the Irish eyes and accent speedily found adventure at Paddington Station. She had been seeing off several Irish friends, and confused with port wine and the problems of the Free State election, she was found, shortly before midnight, in the Vauxhall Bridge road, behaving as no respectably married Irishwoman should hch.tvc.

Rosa admitted her guilt, but plea 1od that whatever excitement she had caused brought no pleasure to herself, because after leaving Paddington the world, the flesh, and the devil ceased to exist.

“T have a. good husband, a good home, and I am a good woman,” she urged pathetically, and AD Boyd, whoso task it is to understand human nature, believed her and discharged with a little lecture which contained sound advico. Ireland was again represented by Patrick, an old soldier of the South iAfrican War. For two years he bad ceased to die a labourer and being disappointed in the dole and in gifts from tlic local guardians, he sought to woo sweet charity at the hands of women passing through Wilton street.

I liked the conversation between Patrick, the old soldier, and P.C’. -14!) B, a young constable. “Did you take the name of the woman il stopped?” demanded Patrick. “She was not a woman; she was a lady,” remarked the constable severely- “ And when, is not a lady a woman?” inquired Patrick. “A lady is a lady,” retorted the constable. “This is a cross-examination, not a private conversation,” interrupted the magistrate, who remanded Patrick for inquiries.