TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 15 August 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

BELFAST, June 13. “1 will now call out the names of the men.” said Mr Scott, chief officer of the Labour Exchange in Corporation Street to All- Aim-docks. chairman of committee. Among the men in the waiting room was James Cullen, who really had no right there. “ AVhat is you name?” inquired the chief officer. *‘ G—lt—lt—H—Af—G,” grow fed the interloper. “ I beg your pardon, I didn’t quite, catch it,” said Air Scott.

“ AYell, you caught that,” retorted James Cullen, as lie struck the chief officer on the jaw, knocking him down and breaking his speetaeles. Perceiving that calling the roll was not a one man’s job, .Mr Maddocks went to his chief officer’s aid. while a constable, seeing the need for reinforcements, assisted Mr Maddocks. “ Leave him to me.” said the constable, collaring Janies Cullen, who. before being hurled down the stairs, tool; one final and effective kick at the prostrate Mr Scott. Mr O’Donnglme, the magistrate at Belfast Court this morning, sentenced Cullen, who had 21 convictions, to the maximum penalty of two months’ hard labour.

“ Tf lie had done it to a horse ho •nuld have got six months,” said a dislict inspector bitterly.

" And he was not on the register,” said Mr Scott even more bitterly. Oysters and Head Constable McKenzie do not agree with John McCardlc. who, having served one month on account of some irregularity associated with bis oyster saloon in Commercial Court, became a bookmaker. In his new profession ho met Head Constable McKenzie, an old but not esteemed acquaintance, who asked him what he was doing in Donegall Street. AAlmt MeCardle replied to the officer brought him to the court, where the bookmaker’s solictior demanded: 11 In all the city of Belfast is there anybody getting so much attention from the police as John MeCardle P It is a Corsican vendetta.” Turning on Chief Officer McKenzie the advocate inquired: “Arc you Trisli? Your name suggests brave heaths and shaggy heather.” “ He is not Irish either," retorted Chief Officer McKenzie. “ Ah, well.” said Mr O’Donoghue. " hot replies given to a policeman on the street by a civilian against whom there is no charge is not disorderly conduct.” Mr MeCardle was therefore discharged. Scenting murder and mystery in a pool of blood beneath a broken and bloodstained window, a young constable followed n;> the clue of the scarlet stain, ’.thick led him to a strangely clad man nursing a wrist that was

bleeding—the end of the scarlet trail. But it was only Thirsty Thomas, who, driven desperate by the desire for unattainable beer, had broken the window of a house and taken 8d from the gas-meter.

Whitsuntide brought not rest, but rows to many a home in the Falls Hoad district, where in the bad old days they took their pleasures violently. Nowhere, except in the Glasgow small debts court, have 1. seen so many women in a police court ns the crowd that faced Mr Toppin in the court, of summonses.

They were of all ages, from greyhaired grandmothers in long .skirts and black shawls to young girls in the shortest of skirts, the most glistening ol stockings, and the reddest of hats. And how they talked! Not even the stern discipline of the police nor the frowning displeasure of the magistrate could stop them from chattering.

When 1 arrived a solicitor was inquiring from a startled witness; '•And where is this salubrious street in this sultry city of Belfast?” ’■ That means where is Tamar Street,” interpreted the clerk. Bottles and jam-pots had in this ease been thrown into the yard of the Farleys and suspicion fell upon Mrs .tlm phv. For fourteen years there had been a feud between the Farleys and the. .Murphys, and when Airs Murphy began clouting bottles and jam-pots into his yard, said Air Farley, he decided it was time to take a hand in the neighbourly game. " T e:in bold my wife’s tongue.” declared Al.r Fancy, with rare courage and strange confidence. .Mrs .Murphy had to pay 20s and Air Farley presented me with 2s. the cost of the summons.

Children were the cause, of the next two shilliug.sworth. A thin, small woman carrying a baby in Iter shawl complained that the next-door woman’s boy came kicking at her door. That was the beginning. In a few minutes not only the two women, hut their two 18-years-old daughters were enterinining the neighbours in a mightv eoiiiest of longues, while the ciigiii.il cause of the mw did his bit. bv kicking freely am! heartily at the unresisting door. Honours were even, lioib parties lie*ng bourn! over. William and ~aiiv.ie! are two gardeners. Ai one time they used to be goal friends, -sharing hulks and catlings; but non .key exchange only < n ling winks, and each hope that Hie other’s potatoes vili’ be blighted, his spring greens wither, and his .summer roses fade. William alleged that Samuel had

been hunting him on a motor-bicycle and had nearly kuociced him down three times, so he reported him to the police, whereupon Samuel did knock him down not with the bicycle but with his list. “He hied my nose.” saiu William resentfully.

“ He called me a thief in the public road,” complained Samuel indignantly.

“ So you did steal from your master.” declared William, thereby patting himself in his own cart. "If you set yourself up as a judge ot other people,” remarked .Mr Toppti: severely, ‘'you may expect having you) nose injured from time to time.” So William lost his case and had t. pay 2s through the nose. * * * * * The Cochranes are the tenants of tin Cavanaghs. v. Im some time ago desired to get rid of them, which, together with religious differences, explains what followed. Margaret C'avanagh. complete with baby (mothers usually bring ilieir babies in the witness-box in Belfast), gave a dramatic version of bow site was piffled down Mail's by Martin and Bose Ann Cochrane. •' Bose Ann caught held of me by the neck of the blouse, pulled me into flic kitchen, struck me across the forehead with the poker, and knocked me to the tluor. while Martin Cochrane pulled me by the neck of the jumper over In the oonl-Jiotn door and told his wife in lay on with the poker while she was able.”

The Cochranes, who were equally dramatic in their denials, were each lined 20. s and bound over tor 12 mouths. A right, jolly Whitsuntide!