TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 9 July 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

LONDON", -May IS. M.-fael, ii domestic servant from Edinburgh, snatc!u-;| a raincoat from a peg and a married man from his home and travelled south to enjoy the sights of London. Shortly alter reaching Fusion Station the married man l ememhored that lie had a wile who was waiting up lor him, so he returned to Edinburgh in the next train. Bidding him g.- al-l .c. Mabel lagan. to explore London, and she told a constable. ••This- i-. the place 1 have been looking far." ‘‘'ll ie drunk you are." said ail Irish policeman, who introduced her to the dock at ( lerkenwell Police Court on Saturday. A Salvation Army woman missionary said that s|„. 1 1; ,,] t ■-iI in persuade .Mabel to go back to Edinburgh. bill, Mabel, fascinated with London, declared that she was <|tirtc happy, thank you.

”1 want to stop lure." she told Mr Pope, the magistrate.

"d dare say.'' remarked Mr Pope; ‘‘iii.it what was your programme when you left Edinburgh?" “No programme at ail." said Mabel. "I wanted to come t> London, that's

“ ; But what about the mail who brought your" asked the magistrate. ‘‘Oil. | soon lost him.'' replied Mab-

Mr Pope is a bachelor, a vegetarian. n teetotaller and 1 think, a nonsmoker, bill despite these limitations, hr takes a broad view of life as it is lived.

‘‘Yon slip away with somebody elso’s htisj'jand. you try to see London when you are blind drunk, your pal slips away, and you call that a holiday," said the magistrate. “I am not complaining." retorted A label Smith. ‘‘.l would like to stop here.” "Maybe." remarked Mr Pope severely, "but you are going back to Edinburgh." The Salvation Army woman missionary agreed to send Mabel hack to her home town, hut .'.label herself prefers London. and having struck the southern trail site has a Scottish reluctance to retracing anything Inti a sentimental journey.

The more i sec of women the less ! understand them, ft isn’t her t - expect an ordinary. < veil-mean-ing. blundering male 1 ; grapple with thi' tortuous mind of the ordinary woman. Take the ease of Ft In i. She hit her

woman neighbour on the head with a vase, the woman neighbour vent into hospital, and Ethel went into the dock. But. when it came to the question of w!io should pay the woman's doctor’s Ices, Ethel split the difference with tlm neighbour whose head she Imu split. And tho neighbour, seeing Ethel weep, sobbed in sympathy. So long as we can't- understand women we men arc bound to lore them. The more they get like us. the less they will attract us. Men are logical, but women have no limitations.

A man's logic is a woman’s joke. And because of these tilings Mr Pope was content to dismiss the case on the condition that the two women paid the doctors’s foe. * .*. .i * .*

Every time I l-ecord a case of cruelty to a horse a. valued woman correspondent from the Midlands accuses me of frivolity. 1 want to say that I am very I'.nul of dogs, horses, and babies, but I am afraid we are inclined to over-emphasise the importance of the dumb animal. So long as there arc babies who need all the sympathy that good-hearted women can give, I refuse to share the enthusiasm of wellmeaning women who became hysterical over a ease of cruelty to animals.

In these days of expert inspectors ol the R.S.P.C.A. and the watchful attention of constables it is practically impossible Fir any man to take a horse in pain through the streets of London.

On Saturday at Clerkenwell we hat! a horse suffering from a corn. It was taken back to the stable in the ambulance, and the horse-keeper was lined 30s. A horse suffering from a corn is everybody’s business: a baby suffering from convulsions is nobody’s business. This horse that suffered from a. c-orn and rode in the ambulance was no more hurt than a man or woman who suffers from- a corn and has to ride in a taxicab, but what a ihowl of anguish goes up from su-persensit-ivo men and women concerned over the well-being of dumb animals !

I have been attending the police courts in this country for many years, and 1 have never seen a really bad case of cruelty to horses, but I have listened to many charges of cruelty to children. But. compared with a horse or a tlog. the children do not scorn to matter. Maybe they do really. but the horses and the dogs have a great publicity.

Leaving the kennels and the stables a modern perplexing problem is. \\ hat shall we do with our sons?

A hard-working labouring man who had not been out of a job for 28 years was so annoyed with his stepson, aged 23, that he addressed him in language so inspired that he got a summons from a passing policeman.

“You are not the only father worried about his sons,” said Air Pope. MHo is not my son. he is only my step-son. worse luck,” replied the

eloquent one. "He has no soul above football. .Job after job I have got him. but in the football season he says it is a. waste of time to work. Ho is too busy filling up coupons. As I canto to the court I left him in an Italian shop, and he says, ‘Work is silly; there is no.brains in it.' '1 suppose his mother defends hint F” remarked AI r Pope, MAY ell. I'll give you another chance to boil over. You have deserved it." «**»** Beatrice, wearing a black eye and golden tulips. celebrated her COth birthday by riding to the police station in a motor ambulance, and as she was assisted by two const a hies up the steps she wanted the officer at the wheel. "Be careful ; no furious driving.” LONDON. May 20. The London season began in the ‘ 'West End about a. fortnight ago. when professional beggars v(ho had hibernated i.n ’the wjorkhouses. and : expert pickpockets who had been on 1 the dole, and confidence men who had been wintering in Egypt returned to ‘ their happy hunting grounds. 1 London, while retaining its proud 1 position as the big money market and • the hub of the Empire, is becoming ‘ more and more a pleasure city, excel- ! ling in beauty and interest all the other capitals of the world. And where there .is a pleasure <ity there also are the parasites. Marlborough street Police Court is a distorting mirror of the London season; it reflects only the seamy side o! fashion's fabric. But also it is 1 a ievealing record- of the play-days of a

pleasure city. An intelligent self-possessed, middle aged woman comes mi from the country to shop in the West End. She ia charming woman, the sort of woman every schoolboy would desire Iran aunt-. As soon as she entered tie;

witness box and answered the questions of Mr Mead, the magistrate. 1

knew that she could accurately quote county cricket averages, that she had firm and fixed views about short skirts and shingled hair, and that she was a. jolly good sort. Of course she had her bag. money, and cheque book stolen, but thanks to the vigilance of the clever detectives, men and wiuneli. employed at our big stores, the suspected culprit- was immediately arrested and later remanded. The perfect aunt, who had never been inside a police court before, was obviously on the side of the prisoner, the first un-der-dog she had met in the kennels ef crime.

Beggars, mostly old offenders, reap their harvest from May to August in the golden meadow ef Mar lair. airs O'Connor, who has lost her accent and her husband, has been a well known character in the West End for years. She has two pitches, une on Bond street and the other in Ryder street outside the Keeeutrie Club, where she displays matches and receives eharilv.

Outside the Palace Theatre in Shaftesbury avenue more than a doz•n young men collect nightly to beg from theatre-goers entering taxicabs. One of there was .lames, a youth who, tired of selling ices for an Italian at Sali'ronhill, had been thrown into the social whirlpool with its promise of nioiu-v for nothing.

A different- type was Henry t’ ; bald, who has been attached to- a. stiver organ for 20 years. Limping on crutches he collected while his partner played. ■•But a street organ is music.’ suggested the magisrate. “No lady listens to a street agt*' nowadays; they are too common. explained a plain-clothes constable, who complained that Henry was most persistent in his begging.

Mr Mead, who seemed to have a weakness for street organs, shared by people in court, sent Henry to interview the missionary, who, while lie may not he a judge of music, has a wide knowledge of humanity. Besides. Henry is so bald he ruidd not possibly be bad. Who can he angry wiili the bald-headed pirate in "Treasure Island?"

Juntos Walter*C'lenison. aged 18. is not a beggar, but- be is a had lad. The dr-sn-ir of the Church Army and ••••; f tin court missionary, be ■ ' bun" ii-i'tiitg to work. •Tin- - ■••'* oat ions he left and when his bard-working, respectable mother was earning the family living he sneaked home and stole food Irom the larder. He had been put on probation as; a suspected person and lie bad hovii taking unauthorised week ends and using language that shocked even Captain Walls, an old Army officer, so Mr Mead sentenced him to three months’ jinn! labour. Hunger-strik-ing agalinst- work is quite a new development a product possibly of the dole.

Margaret. Clayton, plump and provocative, is still young, but she adcits having experienced more than 30 convictions. Except that she wore a crimson hat and a green blouse, sjie looked healthy and normal as she calmly accepted her 31st conviction, it -x x * -st-

ilt "John Barleycorn" .lack London wrote an illuminating book on the psychology of drink, hut an elderly, spectacled clerk, while not lining so introspective, in a lew words was equally < onvincitig. “Nowadays. he said sorrowfully, "my work is casual. I go to the City every day. and there I find people who readily stand a drink but do not think of giving you a shilling. My bed costs a shilling, and having little food and no prospects of a bed. my circumstances play on my brain.” The old clerk was lined os. but 1 think he was telling the truth.

A Scotland Yard detective developed a passion for omnibuses. Eastwarti anti westwards he rode, sometimes on top. and sometimes inside. Beginning at Bond street he boarded half a dozen omnibuses, but never rode more than about 300 yards. Ho was not enjoying the sights, he was merely interested in Michael, and everywhere that Michael went the detective was bound to go. Michael, said the officer, carried a light overcoat which he kept placing over the hand-bags ot women pasford street to Oxford circus and hack continued from Bond street along Oxfor dstreot to Oxford circus and hack again with small if any profit to the London General Omnibus Company. Finally the detective, who had taken a dislike to omnibuses, arrested Michael who demanded and obtained a week’s remand to get legal assistance to defend him from the charge of being a suspected pickpocket.