NEWS BY MAIL.

Hokitika Guardian, 7 February 1927, Page 1

NEWS BY MAIL.

HERBERT THE IMMACULATE. LONDON, Nov. l. Herbert the immaculate, debonair despite his sixty years, stepped jauntily into the dock at Old-street Police Court yesterday. His right hand played carelessly with a gold-rimmed monocle suspended from a silken cord, while his left hand carefully caressed a spikey moustache, waxed and wonderful, Constablo Elwood, stalwart, goodnatured. and enjoying the ruddy complexion of a country-bred man, was called by the conductor of 69 omnibus to remove Herbert, who was ranking himself a nuisance. Herbert bein" removed according to rules and regulations. swayed on tho pavement and semiphored with his walking-stick. Then came one of those little human episodes that bring even a uniformed policeman in touch with the lighter side of life. “Yoif had better go home,” said Constable Elwood, steadying Herbert, who was having difficulty with the revolving pavement. “No,” replied Herbert sternly. “1 havo been insulted. I demand satisfaction.” “Very well,” observed the officer wearily. “If you won’t go away T must take you away.” “Ah!” ejaculated Herbert joyfully, “I recognise the accent. What county do you come from ?’* “Suffolk,” replied P. C. Elwood ly“l knew it! I knew it!” exclaimed Herbert, clutching at the officer’s whistle chain. “Let me tell you a funny story.” “It isn’t funny,” declared the constable when Herbert waited for the laugh. “Very well,” said Herbert frigidly, “You tell me a funny story.”

“It isn’t part of my duty,” retorted P.C. HNvood. “You can tell your funny stories to tho inspector.” Herbert went into the witness-box and, solemnly saluting Mr Clarke Hall, the magistrate, staid, “Yesterday X laid to pay a business call on a man with whom I was not particularly impressed.” “I don’t want to hear the details,” snapped the magistrate. “Just so,” agreed Herbert. “Ho was not. a man you would take to. I entered a licensed house to learn something about him, 'and there T had two stouts, but no information. Then I went to Stamford Tli\l and had to have another glass of stout to find my s\os to Edmonton. There I hoarded an omnibus, which broke, down on the way to Stoke Newington 'and caused all " the trouble. T mean to say that when an omnibus gives way beneath YOU ” , _ ~ “Ten shillings,” said Mr Clark Hall curtly. ~

“Being in straitened circumstances.” observed Herbert, toying with hL monocle. “I should like time in which to find the money.” “Send for it.” ordered the magistrate. and Herbert, retired, always debonair.

IMITATING AN ACROBAT. LONDON, December 15. Mr ltigleby Oddie bold an inquest at Westminster yesterday on Henry Stovell, 82, of independent means, living at 22, Northumberland-avenue, W.C.. wlio was found dead at 5.20 on Sunday morning after falling 50 feet front bis window. He had ,tied string tightly round bis ankles and this had apparently broken from a hook in the window above. Mr Oddie, in recording a verdict of Accidental Death, said the only explanation that seemed to meet the facts was that Stovell was a sleepwalker. The coroner added : “ It seems to me that he had been dreaming. At the club he may have seen pictures of that man who was photographed apparently suspended head downtvards in mid-air in Piccadil-ly-circus. He may have dreamed about this photograph and while asleep got out of bed automatically and unconsciously reproduced the conditions of

this trick and tied tho string round his feet, apparently meaning to suspend himself from tho window. “ A FANTASTIC THEORY.”

“It seems a very fantastic theory, hut those who have any knowledge of sleep-walkers know that they do extraordinary things, and I cannot help feeling that that is the real explanation.”

Mr Oddie described it as a somewhat remarkable problem for him to solve. Stovell was an old man living in chambers and spending most of his time in the neighbouring Constitutional Club, lie was sober in his habits and lonely in his life. It did not look like suicide for a moment. Why on earth should ]>e tie string to his ankles? There was the possible alternative that in a sort of confused mental condition he went to get air when suffering from shortage of air, or an attack of angina pectoris and tied the string to his legs in case he should faint and fall out accidentally. That theory, however, lie thought would not do because the window sill was so wide. Mr Oddie added that it was true that there was an envelope containing directions as to what was to bo done with Mr Stovell’s body in case of death, hut it was a document written in 1919. The directions were that no more expense than absolutely necessary was to be incurred, and that lie did not wish anyone to attend his funeral, and wanted no flowers. That was a sensible lettea- which any old man w T ho , was leading a lonely life might write.

NEW BATTLESHIPS. TRIPLE TURRETS. LONDON, November 26. Tho two netv British battleships Rodney and Nelson, which, are to enter service next year will he extraordinafyiooking craft. Li the new issue of ".lane’s Lighting Ships ” the first authentic photographs as vet released by the Admiralty are reproduced. They show that the heavy guns will be carried in three triple turrets (each mounting three 16in guns) forward. A great armoured structure, for all the world like the keep of a mediaeval castle, rises amidships, and lias replaced the old-fashioned conning tower.

When completed they will be unnally ugly vessels. Dr Parlies is further able in this exceptionally fine issue of "Fighting Ships” to give a photograph and drawings of the new British armoured cruisers of 10,000 tons. They are distinctly disappointing in comparison with new United States ships of the same s*ie. of which also for the first time particulars are given. The British ships carry eight Sin and four -lin guns; the American ten Sin and six sin. The British boilers and machinery are apparently of normal type, whereas in the American vessels extra high pressures are adopted. One remarkable change in the appearance of the older United States battleships is recorded. The basketmast is being abandoned and replaced by tripod masts, which are virtually of the British pattern. The change has already been carried out in the Texas, A direction in which the American Navy has gone fast ahead is in the development of aircraft fittings. Thus the new cruisers carry each two catapults for launching seaplanes, of which two are provided. They can be released by this means at a speed of 60 miles an hour. “ Fighting Ships ” is more than ever indispensable for study of all naval questions, and its photographs and drawings are complete and technically perfect,