THE DELIGHTS OF REVOLUTION.

Hokitika Guardian, 5 February 1927, Page 4

THE DELIGHTS OF REVOLUTION.

(By C. J. CUTC'IdFEE 11YNE, Tho Celebrated Novelist, Who Created " Captain Kettle.”) LISBON, December 14.

Aly ancient ally, Air Camoens, wiped his plate with a piece of bread—that delicious morsel—and ate il with audible satisfaction. Then he selected a new sterilised toothpick, to emphasise his remarks, rolled and lit a eigarro from Strong-Alan’s tobacco, and proceeded ;x_

“ Ale, I have no politics, Senhor, and ninety Portuguese of the old country 1 1 s re are the same way of lliink-a. f am merchant of wines, wholesale, you savvy—Buccllas, Collates, what you wish—-and 1 want to get on vvi till my business. You ask me the name of our President of tho moment 1 do not know. I knew once the name of the fast, but 1 have forgot it now. ami anyway as politician lie is gastados—expended. 1 mean. lie added a new j Ministry, quite useless Lo those we had got and oar glorious new President wiif j celebrate hi- mouth or so of office by ] adding another. Since we caused our I good King, Doin Carlos, to resign by blowing him up we have added five to ; oar ferine;- live Ministries. Ml our ; in w ones are useless. Rut they give [employment, you savvy.” j f savvied. There was a Home touch 'aboat Hud. “ We have many of polili; inns iiuem- ! ployed. They are not people von or I ( meet, Senhor. They are not business I men, or if tliey have ever tried busij ness they have failed at it. So they | (onsider they are ouile competent to j govern Portugal, and draw pay for the | job. We find the pay, we business min wlio are merchants of wine and other things. We arc what you call taxed out of our feet.” “ Why not get rid of yqllr grafters?” “S-h-h-h! You must lint use the bad word. Senhor. Patriots! That is the tally. To use unpleasant names about patriots means that I. Senhor. after a suitable time in prison, would be sent to one of our African Colonies, whore it is unhealthy, and where I do not want to go, because my business is that of a wine merchant who exports R'ueellas. and Cullares, and other brands, and whose office is here in tills city. Also the business it is me now, since my son lie went to Brazil. fi cost my son IM7 in one tax and another before be was let go out of Portugal, and because of the expensive exchange lie had to travel steerage on the English steamer. But it was worth ii- 1:-. liiiTi.” ; “The old man seems io carry on pretty successfully single-handed.” 1 said. “Thank you, hut 1 will smoke , my own tobacco. Yours has too much j horse-power for my engines. . i suppose the exchange is your principal snag?”

I -or C'ainoens scrubbed a yellow hand over his chin. “ The exchange when Rom Carlos left us was four and a half escudos to the pound sterling. This morning it is round ninety-five. At this moment, while we are having our alinoyo. it may have jumped to hundred and ten: I would not bo surprise. We have not had revolution now for long time, and the number of greedy pnliticians without a salary increases. Three times a year we rcvolute; that is written by the stars, so I am told, though being Catholic I do not believe it. Hut they coino. I would not he j surprise if the escudo was two hundred | to the pound liv the hour of dinner. \ and I find myself a ruin. It is a thing so usual it has ceased to cause stir-) prise. Rut we do not like it. any more than we like a pipe of sound wine that gets what you call the pip. and is no good for even the English market.’’ Dejection came over Mr ('aimiens, i

and so by way of helping tilings out I suggested that what his country really needed was a Mussolini. That woke him. Sir Cainoeus went off into highspeed Portuguese which was far past my powers of decoding, and lie did some deeji excavating with the sterilised toothpick before his English returned to him. The remainder of his l.usiad was hissed into the heel of a cupped hand which was held tightly in front of his sertihbv muzzle.

loti must not speak that name. no. Fenhor, or me. I shall he pack oft' for Beira, and my business it will be taken by some patriot who will send to England Bueellas where Collares was

ordered. Him! Pouf' He would not know the difference. And my friends in England—iny very dear friends—they would say that dam’ ole ( itniuons has let us down. Senhor, f have my pride, ami I do not want that. 1 am an old ally. Also. me. Ido not want a .Mussolini to make me wear my shirt till it is black.’"

I missed a word <>r two. and then, wafted on delicate wings of garlic there canto to me . . . •• King . . . hack again at the pulacii real at C'intia . . . F'tcadv things down again . . . even if the escudo on!*- got to twenty to your pOUIId." A mutt in a brigand cbm!: strolled i..wards our taMe. "It Is Wednesday." said Air C'-maens. throning away the tattered debris o! hir- sterilised iooth nick, "and I must leave you. Wednesdays and Saturdays T have r. shave whether mv heard he

gross or not. Before our glorious first revolution. 1 shave on Saturdays only. But we progress. And it is my wish to keep abreast of the times. Aly son would wish it, my son who is merchant of wines in Brazil. Rom dia, Senhor.”