TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 15 January 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

LONDON, Nov. :J. Messrs Nash and Shepherd put all their capital into comic ducks and began io do a brisk business on the kerb in Oxford-street. \V. But just when the linn was profitably exploiting the humorous possibilities of diminutive ducks the polieo wound up the firm by arresting the partners for obstruction. Mr Bingley the magistrate, who was deputising for Mr Mead at Marl-borough-street Police Court yesterday, cannot see any difference in obstruction mused by street hawkers and the window displays of the West End stores. And he has said so in his own court at Marvlcbone. Yetcrday lie .said it again with some emphasis. “A shopkeeper at Old-street,” he remarked reflectively, “was fined for causing obstruction by having mannequins in his window, and yet these West End stores which draw crowds of women to the pavement are not prosecuted.” Obviously puzzled by the anomaly of tlie law, Mr Bingley was on the side of the comic ducks. “Of course,” he observed io Messrs Nash and Shepherd, who iS)‘gan to regret that they had pleaded guilty, “you pay no rates and taxes, hut if you will promise not to do it again (sighs oi relief and solemn promises from the pirtners) I will discharge you on probation.” Gratefully the firm packed up their assets in a cardboard box, and set. out to enjoy a. new boom in comic ducks. Now it remains for the police to restrain the big West End stores from attracting crowds of women to their winter window bargains or to cease harassing kerb merchants in the imitation pearl and comic duck lines. 11l other words, the whole of the West End shopping business is going to the ducks.

I May Thompson, the girl in the green jumper, looks like ;i modest violet., hut her record reveals her ‘as more ol a poppy.” the scarlet woman of the fields for whom the daisies pray.” “hull! said Mr Binglev. examining the gnoli er’s report. “You seem to have keen ! lined every blessed sum Irom os to £2, except .'IDs. so 1 will fill in the blank and mhke it 30s.”’

Mario Denise has a beautiful name, but a bad taste in clothes. Also she possesses a pair of steel-rimmed spectacles and a had temper. Ejected from a private house, where apparently prejudice had interfered with hospitality, she was repeating the last word with variations when a constable removed her from his beat.

“I will let you off with os,” said Mr : Binglev generously. | “You can’t. T haven't got 55,” replied Marie Denise. ; Not to be denied, the magistrate ; made it- one day, which mcinnt that Marie Denise was “at home ’ in tlie cell from 12 to 3.

'Wearing a blue suit, a blue sear), and looking blue, a young man explained that his brother, a soldier in India, had just completed seven years’ service. “I was so delighted that T celebrated,” said little boy blue, whose idea of enjoying himself was to take off his coat to anybody in sight. A police sergeant accepted'the challenge and easily won the battle of the blues, the side, stake coming to 20s.

Big Ben had struck eight of the night, and Frank the smoker found himself in Piecadilly-circus with an empty pipe, an empty tobacco-box. and many emptied glasses. With his empty pipe in one Kind and his empty box in the other Frank the smoker went in search of tobacco, and finding none lie abused all smoking men, praying that their tongues wou’d blister and their pipes would not draw. From the dock lie pathetically displayed his empty pipe and tobacco box, ami Mr Binglev let him off with the price of a decent pipe. . £ At * ■*

\s boxer Harry would be among the flyweights where his ago and condition would keep him out of the championship class. Hut be lias the fighting instinct. He was returning home iust after the public-houses I<Al closed when a strange man struck him on the jaw. knocked him down, and ran away. “Wliafc was Tto do?” inquired Harry, scratching Ins head. “I could not find the man who had knocked me down so 1 hit the next one who came along.” The magistrate failed to see the logic of the argument anil requested Harry to search his pockets nnd produce 10s. ***** *

X fool and his family are soon parted. and .Tolln admitted he had been a Cool. Brooding- over domestic troubles from Die opening of the publirbonses to Die closing of tlie same, lie determined to vent .bis imagined wrongs on somebody, and unfoi Innately chose P.C. 1.18 0, young. onDius- \ istie and athletic.

“How did you got that black eye and bruised clieekf” inquired Mr | Bingley, fascinated by the appearance I of tlie off side of John’s face. | “1 think I got it the second time I bounced off tbe pavement.” said John sadly producing tbe doctor’s fee.

1 Defective Beard. looking sympathetically at a tall commercial traveller standing with bowed head in the dock, said : “This man’s downfall is drink. He lias !i very good character, but drink a fleets his brain.”

Certainly it was a queer case oP theft Toe man bad stolen from bis club the valuable coat of a manageress who bad only joined that day. Then lie bad entered a West End stores and stolen two frocks, walking off with tlio garments over bis arm. Tbe sight of a lull, powerful, middle-aged man walking through the streets with a bundle of women’s clothing over his arm does not scorn to have surprised anybody. After hearing the detective’s sympathetic version. .Mr Bingley bound over the commercial traveller, wlm promised to sign Die pledge.