COURT HAPPENINGS

Hokitika Guardian, 5 August 1926, Page 4

COURT HAPPENINGS

LETTUCE EATERS.

LONDON, Juno 10. Twice a week thousands of optimists attend tho Metropolitan Cattle "Market at Islington, X., where more than 2,(XX) stall-holders sell anything front old furniture to fresh herrings. Into this arena of bargains' blundered tho brothers Williams, Leo end George, -and tho friend of their youth, Charles Passey, and tho trio immediately began a lettuce-eating competition.

Tho idea of the game was that each competitor, after consuming as much lettuce as possible in a given time, should throw the remainder at the nearest bargain hunters. Annoyed at the shower of lettuce, the customers of the Cattle .Market demonstrated against tho Triple Alliance, thereby attracting the attention of PoliceSergeant Ivnapp, who, resenting the waste of lettuce, followed the lettuceeaters from stall to stall, and was soon rewarded, by 'a complaint from a seller of silks who had lost a silk dress. Leo ,growing tided of lettuce, had turned to lingerie, and in a horse’s nose-hag which he was carrying—apparently with the object of catching a horse —he placed a silk dress. Shaking herself free from lettuce leaves, a woman pointed 'accusingly at Leo, and Sergeant Knapp, rushing forward, made a triple arrest, but in tho struggle lost bis evidence, the nosebag having disappeared. Later, however, it turned up at tho police station, where tho lettuce-eaters had been faced with a drunk and disorderly charge, complicated by an accusation of theft against Lea. All three, men had been previously convicted, and at Cierkenwell Police Court on Saturday Mr Pope, the magistrate, advised them to keep away from the Cattle Market and the Cierkenwell police, and also to dissolve tho patrnership of the Three Unjust Men. The magistrate backed up his advice by' fining George '.and Charles 10s. and demanding 2Cs more from leo. whose wife wrote saying that she loved him still. Leo may bo an indifferent citizen, but evidently lie is a good husband. RENT DODGERS.

| Pent-dodging is a popular pastime in Cierkenwell. Ono agent summoned three tenants who for the past four years had lived almost rent-free. No 1. on a weekly rental of 4s 9d owed £10; No 2 was £9 in arrears on a os 3d rent!; and No 3 was £l3 on the wrong side of a 5s Gd charge. In each case the husbands wore working on and off the dole. Cheerfully the wives agreed to pay a couple of shillings extra ‘a week to keep their rooms for iho next two or three years.

( LOVERS QUARREL. I- George and Lily had a. lovers’ quarrel outside Euston Station. A young , and romantic constable acted as peace--1 make, whereupon—as is tho way of ; lovers—George and Lily turned on the ; disillusioned officer, who took one on : each arm 'and led them to tho station inspector, a married man with few illusions.

j Mir Pope, who is ‘bachelor, fined 1 Lily 15s because it was not her first > quarrel and George was let off with 10s on tho promise that he would never quarrel again. George paid both | lines, and the kindly sun beamed on ! tbe pleasing si<dit of two lovers re-

united 'against the world, i AN EXPENSIVE PRISONER. ! Alfred, the next offender, was what ike magistrate described as “an cxi pensive prisoner.” lie bad got the i worst of a. severe and prolonged fight, 1 and he was taken to a hospital in the ambulance to he patched up. Surgically the operation was a success, hut it destroyed any eliar.ee Alfred may have had to win a, beauty prize. His face ! was fftostly sticking-plaster and lint, I where it was not swellings and bruises. . The ambulance cost him 2s Gd and tbe j doctor’s fee 10s 6(1. THEFT OF MONEY.

An Italian upholsterer spent more money than he was earning in entertaining girls, and a , trusting Italian hairdresser gave him £2 to buy material to upholster customers’ chairs. The chairs arc still shabby, and life amorous Italian, who forgot to return with the money, was remanded in custody for ii week, reflecting on the maxim that it is better to mend chairs than to break hearts.