PLATFORM PARS.

Hokitika Guardian, 29 October 1925, Page 2

PLATFORM PARS.

SAVINGS OF CANDIDATES. “ What nationality arc you?” Air Lament was asked at his Taknpumi meeting. The candidate, who is a characteristic native of Glasgow, raised a gale of laughter by the rejoinder, " You try to borrow a liver from titt', and you’ll soon bind out!”

“The only union of employees who run a motor-ear in New Zealand is the Wellington Waterside Workers’ Union.” declared Air T. Forsyth (Reform) at Kilbiniic. “Well, good luck to them.” he added. Voices: Why shouldn't thev?

Air Forsyth: It is taking away their claim of belonging to the poorw class. The other evening at the De Luxe I saw another watersidcr come alongside in hi.s car. it was a “Tin Lizzie.” A voice; What is sours ?

Air Forsyth: I haven’t got one yet 1 am a poor worker.

Some of .Miss Alelville's a alienee in Auckland, tired of asking questions which the candidate easily answered. A man who probably thought he was making a killing shot by asking t)foe candidate if she was in favour of the Singapore base got the shock of his life. "Yes. I am in favour of the i Singapore base.” promptly said Aliss .Melville. “As a matter of fact, I visited Singapore last year, and made some personal observations.’

“Good forwards,” was the description applied by Alt' G. NY. Forbes, leader of the Nationalist Party, to the party’s nominees in Feast Christchurch and Kiecarton. .Messrs 1). F. Dennehy and A. F. Longdate Hunt. Carrying on the football metaphor. Mr Forbes said. 1 might lie right enough at the hack of tlie serum, but it is just as well tu have some weight in tile front.” Mr Forbes’s allusion to the physical proportions of the two candidates, who were occupying seats on the platform, caused a good deal of merriment.

“It is still the same old horse three years later—a hit more decrepit v but they have picked up a new jockey. Now they are putting all their faith in the jockey. They know the old horse can hardly get over the fence, but they tire putting their faith in the jockey.” -Air G. W. Forbes.

Discussing land settlement, Air A. F. Lnngdale Hunt said that the legislation put on the Statute Book by the Liberals seemed to be a good measure, but it. had been starved. For years very little had been spent. Recently a quarter of a million was authorised, and only £llOll had been spent.

"That's a plaid: of the Labour Party’s .von have stolen,” cried an interjectin' at. l’etono when Alt' Veitch spoke of a fund to alleviate occupational diseases. >

“Well, then, you can’t object to my making it public.” rejoined Mr Veitch. “If ii’s in the Labour Party’s platform , of course, it must lie good.”

Dealing with the possibilities of the industries connected with wool in New Zealand. Air Veitch at l’etone, asked; “What do we do with our wool? Wo sell it, on the Loudon market at the lowest price we can get,”

A voice: Cut it out! “Whitt 1 mean.” continued Air Veitch collectedly, “is that we should start wool-scouring works here——

The same voice: And wasli it in the Wanganui River. Mr Veitch; Some of our friends would do New Zealand a lot of goY'd it they went for a wash in the Wanganui River and never came out of it. (Loud applause and laughter.)

Air F. X. Bartram iiidulgefWds love of lighter vein when makiiTg“w®'enec to the rowdy reception accordeu Afiss Melville by Labour enthusiasts. 4 "I want to iippeal to my Labour friends nor to heckle her,” he said. “Give her a good snow. Hear all she has to say. Judge Iter policy, and then vote accordingly. I have to thank Grey Lynn audiences, both friends and foes, for the exceedingly courteous treatment they have always accorded me. and T want them U> extend that treatment to the plucky little lady who

opposes me. f Of course. litis brought down the house. H "ill rattle as one of the best jokes of the campaign. “Lillie lady” was good, superlaiviolv good, especially from Air Bartram (who is by no means a Goliath himself), and the audience rocked with delight. 11 is apparent seriousness made the joke till the more palatable.

“In looking through the papers people in the towns nrohahlv will he surprised to see bankrupt sales in all directions amongsi the producers,” said Mr A. K. I.angdale Hunt (Nationalist), al Riccartuii. “There is a lot to he said for those people, and not, :\>f I have heard il stated, that if is" their fault, that they carried on with a high hand. I want, to point out that even if a man had quite good land, and owed J 3-0 per acre, a rise of one per cent in hi* interest means -Is per acre. That means all the difference to those who are only starting.”

Those who sat in tile House knew how I lie (lovernment limped badly. They v.ere not able to give the legislation that was reciuired. Anyone member, hy holding up It is hand, could stop them. That was dime time and again.

•‘Von had the spectacle of one of the wobbliest courses and one of the weakest administrations the country had ever seen.” said Mr H. W. Forbes, the National leader.

An impiisitive and somewhat troublesome Scotsman, who had been prominent all the week at meetings as a proLabour heckler, got into mild argument with a chairman, who happened to he Dr -I. Hardie Neil, a throat specialist, who has been known in Auckland for a generation past as an expert in the removal of tonsils. “Seottie’s” voice had been rendered very husky by liis nightly fusillade of interjections, and this, combined with it pronounced Clydeside accent, had the affect of making his remarks rather obscure. The chairman was endeavouring with indifferent success to grasp his meaning, when a wag in the audience broke in with the remark : “Take out his tonsils-, doctor!” Loud laughter rang through the hall, anil the questioner never had ;mot hor look in.